[USER]

Going anon as I am embarrassed by my financial situation.

Has anyone moved into a room in a house with their child as a single parent to cut costs? Was it as miserable as it sounds? I am currently trying to leave an abusive relationship and all I can afford on my own are rooms in houses. I don’t meet the income requirements for 1 bedroom apartments in my area.

I lived in rooms in houses in early adulthood but swore my last time with roommates was my last. I’m so desperate to get out of this relationship that I’m considering going to a room in a house, though.

Any tips for living with roommates? I’m 38F and almost always butt heads with roommates.

My daughter is 4. We would barely have room for her toys. So sad I can’t give her a better life right now.

[Callie]

Your child is better off in a cramped space than in an abusive home situation. You’re doing the right thing and there’s no shame in doing so — it’s incredibly brave for you to leave.

[Aleta]

Check for a Family Crisis Center near you. Our local ones help find housing for people in your situation. Don’t be embarrassed, be empowered! You got this Mama!

[Rae]

Mama, you ARE giving her a better life. She is 4. She won’t remember the small bedroom. She will remember feeling safe with her mama.

I am way on the other side of this situation, and I can tell you for sure that it will get better.

[Coral]

Find a Facebook group for other single moms in your area looking for roommates you might have a better chance of finding a place that works for you and your child.

[Katie]

I have no tips, but giving your daughter a life without an abusive partner is better life than all the rooms and toys in the world.

Showing her that you value your worth by leaving is priceless.

Don’t forget to take a look at: I really need to learn frugal living

[Deanna]

The best life you can give that daughter is too get out of that abusive relationship. If that’s what you have to do it! Keep yourselves safe.

[Sara]

I did this. Its really just what you make of it. We spent a lot of time on walks, at the park, at the library. He’s 25 now and all he remembers was how much fun we had.

He remembers that I would take some sandwiches, and a blanket and a few toy trucks and we would get an icy pop and a bottle of bubble liquid at the dollar store and spend the day at the park.

Or when it rained that we would walk to the library and he would splash in the puddles and we would read stories in a quiet corner and pick books to take home.

Its really great memories for him. He doesn’t know I was broke and had no money and worried that we would be able to eat all month.

Its not WHERE you live.. or how MUCH you have.. its do they feel safe, loved and warm.

Its all that matters.

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[Thérèse]

If you’re in Alberta, the government has funds and tons of supports for people fleeing abusive relationships.

[Pj.Conner]

It doesn’t matter where you live at this point. Get out before your abuser does anything worse to you or your kid. You can’t raise your kid if you’re not there anymore.

[Angelica]

In CA, sometimes it’s all you can afford. A room, sometimes not even in a house but an apartment. We had to do it, with my husband and our 2boys. It was family thou, but it was hard 😪 as we were used to live by ourselves in an apartment. To live in peace, I had to gave up the idea that it was not my “place”. I respected as much as I could the rules of the house, with kids it was a bit difficult, but I was with constant communication with my “roommates”. Sometimes my kids would eat something out of the fridge without asking, then I would have to buy a replacement right away/same with broken things or give $$$.

It’s extremely important to clean after yourself and the baby and may be do a bit more. To be honest I really enjoyed my roommate’s company, I was never alone.

I wish you the best, you got this.

[Michele]

I’ve done it before for the same reason and it worked out fine. Just remember it’s a temporary situation and it gets you away from the abuse. Kids adapt very well.

[Ellen]

The right room could be a community. Maybe another single mamma or a family looking to cut their costs by renting a room?

Look into women’s shelters near you. Get connected to people who are here to support you.

[Christina]

I lived in a one bedroom when my daughter was growing up and I made her bedroom the dining room.

[Marilyn]

I’m sorry you’re in such a difficult situation. A safe but tiny environment for yourself and your daughter is far better than an abusive situation no matter how grand. Give your daughter a good example of taking care of yourself and her.

This is much more important than space for her toys. Move away from the abuse!

Have you seen: What’s your biggest motivation behind frugal living?

[Virginia]

Is there a family shelter in your area? You may have access to free housing while you build up some funds. It may make more sense than trying to rent a room in a house with uncertain roommates.

You would also have access to other support systems and services.

[Micheale]

Being free of a bad relationship is worth the inconvenience of renting a room. Start to heal and get a new start!

[Sandy]

You will be giving her a good life when you leave!

[Heather]

I lived in a hotel with my daughter for a bit. You do what you got to do. There is no right or wrong in this situation. See if call for help is available in your area. And family crisis center.

Good luck momma.

You got this and stay strong. It does get better.

[Carrie]

So proud of you for moving on and getting it together. Kids don’t care how small the space is and remember this is temporary. Think positive. If your roommate drives you nuts it just helps push you harder and faster to get ahead and get your own place.

I was a Single parent, didn’t eat some days so my child could, got little sleep and worked 3 jobs at one point. You WILL become a strong independent incredible woman, have faith in yourself.

You will create the life you and your child deserve.

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[Amanda]

Please do look around for help. Don’t know where to start? Try YWCA or any woman-focused organization in your community.

Sending you courage.

[Kelly]

This is a first step to a better life. Make your daughter excited about sharing with Mommy and wake up snuggles and she will remember this as a time of joy not deprivation.

Remember – your attitude will influence her greatly.

I admire you so much for taking action to improve your lives.

[Cathy]

You do what is needed, she will be fine with you. Just don’t leave her in anyone’s care please until you’re sure. Sorry, it’s all about prevention..

[Lisa]

Get involved with a church, not only for the spiritual support and community, but bc many churches will help with situations such as yours.

You’re doing the right thing, though it’s not always the easiest path. Keep your chin up.

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[Barbara]

So sorry you are in this situation. Please change how you think about this-this is a beginning, an adventure. Find a lovely person who has a room for rent. Plan free activities away from the house. Suggestions from others for ways to find support sound great. Blessings

[Cindy]

There is a lot of talk here about you giving your child a better life but not about living with roommates.

If you had problems with roommates in the past the issue may be communication. Acknowledge that YOU may not be the best at communicating. Then sit down with the new roommate/s and talk about expectations and ground rules. Clarify the stance on common roommate issues such as cleaning communal areas, common chore duties, communal meals or food. Bath time schedule for your daughter that doesn’t conflict with their schedule. Etc.

[Barbara]

Are there any groups such as our Oasis for women that can assist you in leaving this relationship? Oasis can house women, help them get on their feet and it is a safe place where the abusive partner cannot find or access her.

[Bo.Voutsas]

I had friends in a similar situation. They slept on my couch. They appreciated the peace and calm.
It’s not miserable as you ask. You are leaving miserable.

Try to anticipate this change in a positive way and know it’s not permanent. Try to play well with others and make your room feel safe and special to you.

Best wishes!

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[Lenna]

Better to get out ASAP. Everything is temporary, and you just need time to make your next move after getting out. A room in a house is a start, not the finish. Good luck to you both.

[P.J.]

There may be shelters, in your area, for abused women & their children. Maybe check that out first. If you do rent a room, do a background check on them first.

Btw, if your daughter is raised seeing her Mom being abused, chances are she’ll end up with an abusive man too. A big part of that is because that will feel “normal” to her. The sooner you get out, the better. It’ll show her that you’re both worth better than that. Because you are.

[Dona]

Many years ago I moved into an 800 square foot two bedroom one bath apartment with my three young children 6 8 and 10 I shared a room with my daughter and the boys had the other room we did it for a couple of years it helped me save money it was worth it so sometimes you just got to get out of your comfort zone and do what you got to do.

[Janeen]

First off…not an issue to be embarrassed about. Secondly, it is unfair to get a roommate without letting them know the risk of renting to you (this depends on how abusive your ex is). Thirdly…it is time you grow up and learn how to get along with people and not butt heads. You are not in a position to butt heads with anyone willing to take in you AND a child as room renters. Taking you on as renters is very inconvenient…most room renters are not children. Time to be a big girl and accurately assess all your options.

[Author]

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