[USER]

My new spouse’s parents funded the first year of my stepsons college education and now is not able to.

It’s about 38k/year, with 3 more years left.

Spouse’s ex got a $2M house and tells her children she can’t afford anything because she has no money to support them, including college.

Has led to a very unfair situation re support children’s education.

Do we have any options/solutions we haven’t thought of?

[Kevin]

The #1 problem is sending a kid to a school that’s $152k for a four year undergrad degree.

That is wildly financially irresponsible regardless of finances.

I wouldn’t even dream of supporting/encouraging my children to pursue that path.

You can’t allow reckless financial decisions and expect the ex/ grandparents to foot the bill.

[Marc]

That’s an expensive college – did the mom agree to pay part before he started?

Paying for college for your kids is a nice to have not a must have.

If there was no money to pay for it, I’d tell him that he needs to find a less expensive option for the remaining 3 years

[Deirdre]

Your husband’s ex-wife was awarded that house by a judge.

She may have a house of that value but may not have the cash flow or maybe her job doesn’t pay well or she has a lot of debt.

Your husband must have a decent 401k, maybe he could cash some out?

Or look for a cheaper alternative university or look into student loans.

[Justin]

I think it depends on the state, but I know in some states, especially where I live, support for kids ends at 18 years of age AND out of high school.

[Jo Anne]

With all respect, he is your new spouse. His son, his parents and ex-wife, relationships he’s had for a lot longer than he has had you.

Let him handle it.

I know you’re not going to like what I said , but in the long run it is the best move for you the new wife and stepmother.

And make sure you keep your money separate.

but if your spouse contributes $38,000 a year to one of his kids, he needs to be willing to let you do the same for yours

[Katy]

If the kids are in college, why do you need to communicate about finances with the mom?

“We will provide you kids with x amount each year for your education.”

The kids can figure it out from there…. Whatever the mom is doing is no longer your worry, honestly.

It’s a great time to teach the kids about a budget, financial responsibility and that life is not fair! Why wasn’t their college costs decided in the divorce decree? Remember — the kids are now adults.

[Jonathan]

In most cases, I am never a fan of parents paying for the kids college.

Have them work, community school, and take out loans for the rest.

If you want to help, after your retirement is fully funded, help them repay the loan.

[Katie]

That’s hard to say if there’s anything you haven’t considered when the only options you’ve presented is for other people to cover his education.

There are lots of options.

He can pay his own way, he can go to a cheaper school, he can take loans, you can contribute what you can afford and he can make up the difference with my other suggestions, but the ex has no more obligation to help than your husband does (i.e. he has no obligation either)

so to mention her $2M house just makes you sound bitter but doesn’t help this situation.

[Steven]

I recommend pursuing a more affordable option. Go to an in-state school, commute, go to the community college and transfer credits.

It seems like 38,000 a year isn’t affordable anymore and it would be better to adjust right now than take on student loans.

Just about anything is better than student loans including dropping out.

[Princess]

Paying for college is NOT a parents responsibility. Pay what you can.

Make the kid apply for scholarships and whats left can be taken in student loans

[Judy]

If the ex-wife got a $2mil house, didn’t your husband get $2mil of his own assets?

[Jennifer]

I’d offer it to pay for half if I could and say if the co-parent can’t pay, then they need to take out loans for the other half.

[Susan]

And the mother can live however she wants. In a shack or a $2M house.

And still doesn’t have to pay for college if she doesn’t want to.

That’s just the reality of her living her life as unfair as you seem to think it is.

[Latoya]

The child should choose a cheaper school. 38k a year to ask anyone to help pay for doesn’t make much sense.

Another option would be to have the child work on campus for free R&B or work part time off campus that does reimbursement

[Joshua]

I believe In some states as long as the child even over 18 didn’t take a gap year.

Child support can continue as long as they and enrolled full time.

Legal obligation to support would follow them for the entire collegiate career.

[Author]

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