[USER]

I’m 34, and I spent what feels like my entire younger years focusing on making money, chasing financial independence as hard as I could.

My goal was to retire by 45, but here I am, sitting with roughly $350K in assets, plus a house worth about $200K.

Not bad, but not enough to feel like I can actually live the life I envisioned.

The worst part? I sacrificed so much for this—friendships, experiences, time. Now, I don’t have real friends, no one to reach out to, nowhere to go.

My life is just wake up, work, sleep, and repeat. The friends I had either got tired of me being the “cheap friend” or couldn’t stand me constantly preaching about financial independence or giving them copies of the ChooseFI book.

Looking back, it feels like I wasted my life on all the wrong things.

Sure, I have some financial security, but at what cost? I’ve missed out on the connections and experiences that truly make life worth living.

If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to find a better balance. Yes, money is important, but so is living—so is friendship.

Don’t get so focused on the future that you forget to actually live your life in the present.

[Janelle]

I tell my dog all the time that he’s worth the 200k (future value assumption for full life expenses) I could have instead of him.

The money guys have a pretty good handle on balance same with I will teach you to be rich.

First step is acknowledging what you want.

No time like the present, you got this!

[Kara]

I’m going to get real here, because I’ve been here and built a business on my own.

Exterior goals don’t work to fix that panic inside– It took me about 3 years with a therapist and less productivity to finally feel connected and calm.

[Stacy]

Let me give you some personal perspective. At 34 I was a single mom with no retirement, survived a divorce and bankruptcy.

I started over. I was a single mom for a decade, worked my butt off caring for my child.

At 60 I semi retired to a life I crafted.
You are way ahead of where I was at 34.
I have no regrets.

Everyone’s path is different.
Give yourself grace.

You will get there when you get there.

[Juan]

Find better friends. Also, don’t be that guy that always talks about Money. If they want to know, they’ll ask

[Stacey]

34 – You’re a baby yet…. Plenty of time!
FI, CrossFit, Running…. Why do people need to convert the masses? You can have non-FI friends.

Get some hobbies – hiking, golf, whatever – and enjoy!

[Christine]

No time like now to make a change. Find a club or hobby. Volunteer. Get out and find your tribe.

You obviously have an ability to self reflect and make behavioral changes so get to it!

[Rebecca]

I hope you don’t feel like now you are stuck in this existence cycle.

I think, just like some people find fi later in life, you can find balance “later” in life.

You set such a great foundation, learned valuable lessons and can grow in so many ways from here!

Thank you for the reminder that now is for living, too!

[Caro]

I’m the same age. Hey, I don’t even feel like we’ve hit our hey day yet! A lot of us were grinding when we were younger, not necessarily in the same manner (I was supporting my husband through college after me and I was the cheap friend).

Add a budget category for a new experience. Heck I’m thinking of signing up for violin group class.

This is how you meet people at this age. What can you invest in right now, for you?

[Vera]

It can’t be healthy bugging people about FI. Focus on yourself. Life is all about balance.

[Ernest]

“I don’t have real friends”………………”couldn’t stand me constantly preaching about financial independence or giving them copies of the ChooseFI book.”

[Krystal]

As a 50yo just starting out, you have time. Make the connections now. Find a couple hobbies and go from there. Quality over quantity every time.

[Paula]

Similar age, and was in a similar situation where I may have missed out on social outings/experiences because I didn’t want to spend money in my 20s.

I was also in debt, so I continued to live like a broke college student for some time.

As I start to be in a financially comfortable position, I am okay with spending some money as long as I am investing a good amount as well.

Can you create a budget with fun money?

For meeting people, there are things you can do like join meetup groups, go to free events in the summer, and/or lower cost activities like hiking and pickleball.

I’ve met a lot of great people through meetups and pickleball.

[Adrienne]

If you’re 34, you have another 30 – 40 years ahead of you, and now you have both financial security and self-knowledge.

[Michelle]

Create a list of some experiences you want to have in the next quarter, year, 5 years, etc. Artistic, athletic, travel, volunteer, etc. you’ll meet people along the way.

Reorient your focus from the grind.

It’s ok to take your foot off the gas if your finances are stable!

[Author]

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