How can you instead change the narrative from something negative like cutting to a positive one about what would be accomplished?
Money is a tool used to achieve your goals, start getting really clear about your goals and how you want to live your life as a starting point and communicating it to your partner.
For instance, I don’t want to be stressed if I get a flat tire and need to replace it, it’s already frustrating but it’s much less of a big deal and less painful when you just have money earmarked.
This happened to me recently and no stress was felt despite an unexpected $250 expense.
Perhaps start listing about the surprises that can come up and they negative feelings that could come and how you’d like that situation to go instead.
I fell and needed 14 stitches in my knee and it was really frustrating but what didn’t have to be was paying the bill.
It didn’t loom over me. I could put it behind me.
Maybe it’s an even more positive thing like a vacation or experience you are trying to save for.
How nice would it be to have a vacation just once where we didn’t have to cook in or worry about coming back with debt?
Here was the turning point for my wife who was then my girlfriend. She was born deaf and only hears with the use of bilateral cochlear implants.
The implant is a 1 time surgery but there are external sound processors and they get upgrades every few years as technology improves.
These upgrades have during the time of our relationship made a major improvement on her hearing and quality of life but they can be expensive and the insurance company may not cover when new ones become available and you may have to wait.
In talking about the frustration of insurance company denying, I asked why not just have the money set aside if they don’t?
The extra money we’ve had to come out of pocket since marrying is 3-6k per ear if they don’t cover, it’s that or wait 2-3 years more.
So, for for something that has such a marked improvement on her life why not just accumulate it over the course of 2-3 years after upgrading while the new ones are developed.
Yeah, we want insurance to cover but why be put in a position where you can’t have such a big life upgrade?
We can still wait but at least then it’s her agency and decision and not some third party.
After this change of view my wife savings level became profound. She wanted the control of things in her life and realized the money let her do that.
I’ve tried to give examples but it’s all very personal and I think your best bet is to explore your feelings and goals and communicate them to your partner.
I was much more anxious about layoffs when I had debt and no emergency fund, my financial habits have brought my wife and I financial peace and hope you find the same.
