[USER]

Just as we were about to FIRE.. surprise pregnancy. I’m 42 and my husband is 29.

Anyone have this happen and did it derail your FIRE plans? How expensive are babies these days?

Mine is almost 21..

Are babies FIRE friendly? Thinking maybe we need to rewrite our plans.

We wanted to travel, I guess now we have a +1.
More details:

After my husband leaves his job we’ll have approximately $8k/month to FIRE on and our dream was to travel.

Health insurance is covered.

[Sarah]

I mean honestly, FIRE and go! People survive on much, much less than 8k a month with 1 baby (or many more).

If you need to reevaluate financially or emotionally (being by family or whatever) then do so as you go.

People who decide they need to give up on their dreams because of a child drive me nuts! Check out the nomadic homeschoolers!!

But really, you don’t even need to worry about that until your kiddo is like 4 or 5.

Check out travel with kids groups.

Babies can be high needs, yeah, but they’re also at their most adaptive point in their lives.

[Wendy]

When you say your dream was to travel does that mean full time or the occasional trip?

If it’s full time, there’s loads of full time traveling families. Worldschoolers is one of the biggest FB groups I’ve found but there are others.

Geoarbitrage and slow travel can also help your savings grow while you lower your expenses sometimes dramatically.

My family and I have been full time traveling since 2020.

My kids are teens now.

As an example – last December we spent the month in Hua Hin Thailand to take a break, catch up on schooling, celebrate my son’s birthday and save some money.

We stayed in a 2 bed/2 bath modern condo with washing machine and access to a gym and 6 pools including a playroom for really little kids and an extensive splash pad with multiple waterslides.

We ate out as much as we wanted, took taxis to the mall to get food for when we felt like staying in, had fun coffees out nearly daily, went out for “fancy” dinners for Christmas and my son’s bday, he and my hubby went go carting, we bought a Christmas tree for the condo and decorations for it – so basically, we weren’t exactly working our hardest to save.

Our total expenses for lodging/transport/food for 2 teens and us/various stuff they ordered and all entertainment (but not including our healthcare plan from the US, or life insurance, car insurance we keep up) – $2500.

There are much cheaper places (that I would still take a baby).

So basically – TLDR: geoarbitrage and travel can go hand in hand and make life fun and Uber cheap even with a baby.

[Catherine]

Having babies is better than any travel you can envision. I got my surprise pregnancy at 43 after having 4 kids already…

still planning on retiring by 55.

[Anna]

Childcare is the biggest cost. If you fire and you don’t need childcare it’s super doable. Travel is easy with one!

(I’m saying this as a parent of 3) Congratulations! This is such an exciting time!

[Sarah]

Congratulations! You can still travel with kids. How fun for you and your child to be able to explore the world and share those special memories.

The most expensive thing is daycare, so if you are FIRE, you don’t need that expense.

Other things like clothes, toys, accessories, etc.

don’t need to be expensive.

You don’t need a lot of the baby things society tells you that you “need” anyways.

[Kate]

Well if you were firing anyway, the most expensive expense, the daycare, will be free, since you will be with your kid! Kids can be as inexpensive as possible: cloth diapers.

(can be sold as used and people do buy them!), breastfeeding is free, buy used clothing for first year (they are almost perfect condition cause kids grow out of them and then sell them).

Good strollers, cribs, etc are inexpensive.

I think I did first year of my daughter for about $500 as I bought everything used and sold everything and breastfed till 3.5.

Things start happening when you do various classes and kids want nicer clothing.

I bought good brands, brand new and resell them after (Zara, mango, etc).

So again net difference is not very high.

[Laurie]

Kids are as expensive as you allow them to be. Childcare and medical care the most expensive things so if you can avoid childcare costs and have medical covered then you’re good!

You can choose to put them in camps and sports or you can choose not to. There are pros and cons to everything.

Other than childcare and medical care we don’t spend much on my 4 year old.

Her clothes are from consignment and garage sales (she’s going to ruin them anyways and I like not having to tell her to be careful) and most of her toys are used or gifts.

We did put her in some fun intro to sports things through the city that cost about $50 for a 6 week “season”.

I grew up super poor and my husband is very cost conscious so we are teaching our daughter to be the same and even at 4 she’s learning needs vs wants and will reason out loud that something is too expensive or we only buy certain things on sale etc

She’s autistic and most likely ADHD so teaching her to be financially responsible is going to be an uphill battle so we are working hard to start her off young! BUT if we decide as a family that we need something then we absolutely get it.

She will not go without needs thanks to the work my husband and I did to set ourselves up financially (paid off our house before we got pregnant), but we still try to stay frugal.

[Shannon]

My daughter doesn’t cost us much. A box of $45 Kirkland diapers lasts about 2 months and I breastfed, but even if I did formula, it would have been about $180/month.

Really not an astronomical amount. Skip the fancy swings and crap (a lot of kids hate them anyway).

We had a lot of stuff given to us or I got it on marketplace for cheap.

Travel with 1 kid is pretty reasonable.

The first 2 years, they’re free for basically everywhere domestically and you just pay the fees for traveling abroad.

Rack up the airline miles and it’s not bad long-term to add one more.

There are a TON of people who travel full-time with their kids and have blogs and vlogs.

With insurance covered and 8k/month, you should be just fine. Enjoy!

[Lee]

It’s great traveling with kids while they are so portable. See the world and find the absolute perfect school for your precious tot…

or stay on the road with a virtual curriculum.

[Margaret]

Congratulations! It will all work out with some adjustment. I had a baby at 42 and what a joyful journey

[Boni]

No one says this has to o be permanent. Retire, travel, enjoy your time with your little one, and if it doesn’t work out, do something else.

If constant travel is too much, maybe you could slow your travels and rent somewhere for 1-2 months at a time so you have more of a home base and do short excursions.

[Kristi]

We fired before we had kids. It was shortly before we turned 28 and had our first right before we turned 30.

Just had our second 6 weeks ago at 32. We have homebirths so paid out of pocket for those.

Our first did end up in NICU for 2.5 months because breastmilk almost killed her, so that added the expense of a boujee organic formula I wasn’t originally planning on.

But generally I don’t think babies are that expensive.

I’ve seen several in this group say, and I agree, that babies are as expensive as you make them.

[Christy]

We had a surprise 3rd kid at 40 (I’m 46 now). It’s been amazing and is keeping me and my husband young.

Definitely delaying some retirement plans for us because we have more years of very expensive child care

(with our jobs, we need a full time nanny to have a sane life).

So, we will work a few more years than originally planned but wouldn’t trade it. Congrats!

[Shala]

Kids can be whatever you make them to be so you figure them in like any other liability just your ROI comes in a different form

[Srini]

8K with insurance covered is good enough to raise one kid. It’s not going to disappoint you financially.

You probably won’t be using daycare anyway after you quit the fulltime job.

There’s not much big expense other than daycare.

[Colleen]

An unexpected blessing! There will be challenges, but also lots of happiness and love.

If you can figure out FIRE, then you already know how to adjust the plan and/or the goal.

Allow for the difficulties of the first few years.

I think parents who are older and experienced are really great at raising kids because they understand the priorities and are generally more confident in what they are doing.

[Jane]

It will be an adventure. You can travel with kids. Asia cheap to live/ travel and bonus you can afford some help. Congratulations

[DM]

There are definitely some pros to having a kid at that age focus on those.

My sister was a late bloomer had to pay for fertility to get her twins at 47, she still FIRE’d at 55 could have done it sooner but that was the age to get her pension.

The pros: your friends have means you’ll get 3 of everything on your registry.

You can afford in home help so if you still want to work it’s definitely easier than when you had your 21 year old.

Since you were about to FIRE you have the means to afford this kid everything and you will be less stressed than when you were a young mom.., you are basically getting a do over.

Congratulations!

[Jane]

Wow what a rare situation! I wonder what emotions you may be going through.

I have alot of friends who join their local Buy Nothing group where you can receive used baby clothes/items from other neighbors who want to give them away.

All my best to you and your little family.

Thank you for inspiring me to FIRE and being the story about having a kid at 40 too.

[Nico]

Congrats! If you don’t have to work (i.e. daycare cost and lack of time) babies might not be very expensive.

edited to add: Also you could decide to come live in Europe for quality of life and kids-friendly social systems

(healthcare / daycare / free schools / free universities)!

[Author]

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