[Maria]

are there people here who do not do gifts for Christmas? Last year I started doing kids of the family only because Christmas has gotten very stressful for me and I noticed I was more worried than enjoying it. It went overall well.

This year my husband has had alot of medical bills. We thought we finally were over the hump because we maxed out our out of pocket for the year which was still a lot but we received a letter from his insurance today saying they do not believe they should be paying for his surgery.

Now we need to get that sorted out which stinks because he had surgery two weeks ago and is out of work until January for recovery.

He is Not getting paid so we applied for tdi.

Due to thanksgiving last week, we could not give the tdi letter to the surgeon until today. By the time they fill it out , fax it, it gets reviewed and processed….who knows.

Thankfully we saved to have the bills paid but only have a little wiggle room for anything else including presents.

Now Now with this news I’m just forgoing all presents this year( I do not have children).

Maybe it’s the Dave Ramsey baby stepper inside of me but I want to go into stork mode while we try and fight this with insurance just in case our appeal is denied and we owe the money.

We worked very hard to get out of debt a few years ago and do not want to go back if I can try and get ahead even a little.

My priority is this and I’m not going into debt for presents. It’s not a need it’s a want.

[Sharon]

I have 5 kids and spouses 11 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren
No gifts. Had to stop.

Too many.

[Cathy]

Not replying about gifts, but regarding the insurance company covering the surgery. Call your insurance and request to speak to a customer advocate.

Request a peer to peer consultation— it will be a call from their medical director to your husband’s surgeon.

That should clear any misunderstandings and hopefully get that bill paid.

If that doesn’t work, try calling your states insurance commissioner. They should provide some guidance.

Finally, if you’re left with the bill, work with the hospital system where he had the surgery. Often they have funds to help uninsured and underinsured patients.

At the very least, they might write off some of the bill. Start with Social Services at the hospital.

They should be able to guide you through the necessary steps.

Enjoy the beauty of the holiday and don’t worry about presents this year.

[Ani]

Can you host a movie night?
Popcorn
Chocolate
Ice cream

Make core memories and take lots of selfies.
Have a journal and each kid write the core memory.

Attach copy of writing plus selfie with grandparents as the Xmas gift.

[Jennifer]

If I was a family member, I definitely couldn’t enjoy a gift you bought knowing that you have been struggling:(
A sweet card would be cherished.

[Brenda]

Define what is important for you and let that guide how you celebrate! We have been driven too much by commercialism and consumerism!

[Elizabeth]

Most I know are struggling at present. Just be open with friends and say you are not buying presents this year.

It’s hard cos you are breaking a habit of a lifetime but it really is less stressful and you can stay away from the busy shops and traffic

[Katherine]

We haven’t done gifts for anyone the last four years. It started because we had just gotten married but there is always something.

We spend time with family but do not give gifts.

No one has ever been upset about it but I make sure to let everyone know they do not need to buy us or our little one a gift either because we will not be buying gifts.

[Ma]

Us. We never started it with our kids and they are just fine instead we do activities for them. Games, craft, movies and ginger house.

It’s exciting for them and they always looking forward to create ginger house with their own design.

So, I’m not stress during Christmas because of the expenses.

[Ruth]

Yes, it’s doubtful we will spend much for Christmas presents this year. We have a lot of extra expenses in the month of December and it’s just my husband and I.

[Versie]

I wish you lived on my block. I’d invite you to my Christmas get together. It’s total chaos. Yard games, dominoes and food lots of food.

All worries checked at the door. Hugs to you and hubby. And Merry Christmas.

[Jenifer]

I’m known for my gifts and have literally had years where I’ve spent $10 on 21 people total (not each). When I’m doing good I will buy a reasonable gift. When I’m struggling I make things from the heart.

If you ask anyone who loves me some of their favorite things about me , one will always be my creative and thoughtful gifts.

Like one year I had no money. But our landlord in the apartments was building new stairs.

I asked him if I could have some of the scrap wood he was tossing. I made signs for everyone. My brother was going to barber school, so his was a barber pole.

Two old looking door pulls on either end. He still has that to this day. It’s the effort and little things.

I even made ornaments out of old lightbulbs that year.

I had so much fun with it all and they still talk about it. It’s a tight year this year. I got stickers of me making a funny face.

I’m putting them on mini funfetti cakes labeled fruitcake, as a gag gift. I have a few other things I’m making as well.

They all love that stuff. My mom has a special jarred item she only makes for Christmas. That’s the only thing we look forward to from her every year.

It’s truly the thought that counts. And funny almost always wins. But it is also ok to not gift when you have to. Life is not easy sometimes.

[Dennise]

I don’t know your family but I think you take care of you and not worry about presents. In most families the kids get plenty and the adults that love you certainly understand.

Only a few middle ages would even notice, younger kids don’t keep track like that and older kids are able to understand family circumstances.

If you get together for an event maybe bring their favorite cookies, and play a game with them. You are likely overthinking.

I’m sure if positions were reversed you would be quite ok with no presents from a family member dealing with health/financial situations.

[Ruthie]

I only gift children…(under 18) and my parents ( bothburth and in laws) I do a gifting name exchange with any other adults inclined to do so, but I will not obligate myself, ruin my holidays, Stress or break myself just due to sociol convention and marketing pressure

[Nola]

I am buying modest Xmas gifts this year for a limited number of people but if I were in your position I would not think twice about skipping it. especially if you don’t even enjoy it.

Christmas should be a pleasure all around, so why do stuff that you don’t want to do and can’t afford?

I hope this year you go to somebody else’s Christmas party and eat all the snacks and don’t throw a party of your own.

[Regina]

Do not buy Expensive presents. DONT go into debt. Don’t compare your life to everyone else’s.

It’s not worth it…

[Bonnie]

We stepped all gift giving 10 years ago. It’s about enjoying family and friends.

It put a stop to the stress and worry of all the BS.

[Ruth]

It sounds like you are not in a position to go into debt over the Holidays for Christmas presents.

[Rita]

I stopped doing presents years ago with family.
Actually a sister-in-law suggested we each pick a name and buy a gift for only that one person.

That worked I think and then we just quit presents probably by the next year. With friends I decided about 5 years ago that I wanted to stop doing gifts – and so told the friends.

I only like to give gifts I know people will enjoy/use/appreciate. Sometimes I bring things like coffee, teas, chutneys.

I need to get rid of stuff – not get more stuff in my life.

I send gift cards for birthdays to my siblings. Usually for places where they can purchase food treats, since I live far from them and cannot take them out to dinner or lunch.

[Author]

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