[Natalie]

I think I need some encouragement or perspective…

Husband and I were both born and raised in CA, but housing prices have got me feeling hopeless. We live well below our means (BS 3b/4) in San Diego county but home ownership seems out of reach and rent just keeps rising. 2 bedroom condos are minimum ~$600k. Even if we eventually saved 20% down, monthly payments for a 30 year mortgage are like $3500.

I have a great salary as an engineer, and my husband’s pay will increase as he gets further into his career (currently EMT, with goal of paramedic/firefighter) but my end desire is to start a family and potentially only work part time, so I worry that buying based on my current income will keep me financially stuck in the workforce…but I also don’t see how it’s feasible to rent forever and forgo building any assets long term.

I realize that in the grand scheme of things, we are doing well for a couple in our mid-20s. Am I overthinking this? Do we just need to face the facts that it takes 2 six figure salaries to make it here?

And because I know I’ll get comments about it, yes we are considering moving out of state eventually but all of our family is here and I want to stay at my job a bit longer because (1) I love it and (2) they have a very generous maternity leave policy. Be kind to those wanting to leave CA, the majority of us are tired of our voices not being heard and just want better lives for our families 🥲

[Jacob]

Certainly research the move idea.

Maybe it does take 2, 6 figure salaries. I can’t say for sure, but even here in Wisconsin, we make pretty reasonable money, and I don’t feel like we are just living it up. We are making progress, but it certainly feels like when you reach that next income level you still aren’t winning.

[Sarah]

We moved from WA to NC and have not looked back. It has been a wonderful move for our family. Highly recommend visiting for 2 weeks on vacation to check out some potential cities you are considering moving to and to rent the first year while you decide where to buy.

Good luck!

[Catherine]

We fled CA last year. One of the very best decisions we’ve ever made. We did move close to my husband’s family though- unlike your situation. I’ll just say that the peace and security of not having to deal with CA has been tremendous. People are very kind in many, many parts of our great country. Ask your company about relocating.

[Ryder]

I am in the same boat as you living in East County San Diego. I am considering relocating for the same reason. It’s very expensive. I am paying $2500 as is for a 2 bedroom. There is so much more to life than working just to live in California. I have been checking out the Midwest and for the price of what you can buy in California you’ll get much more home for a fraction of the cost.

[Michael]

Yikes. I was shocked when a 2 bedroom condo near me sold for 150k. If you do consider out of state, I highly recommend looking at SC, specifically.

just south of the charlotte, nc area. Tons of opportunities in Charlotte, and reasonable cost of living in the suburbs, even better in SC (rock hill/fort mill).

[Catherine]

I’ll just say moving away from family was hard but nothing, NOTHING beats the feeling of not drowning. First we moved to Arizona and now we’re in South Carolina. We sure do miss the west coast and family but the cost of living and how we are able to LIVE is a much better feeling.

[Christina]

My husband and I just bought last year in south OC, so similar area. We saved for two years by learning to live off just my income and putting 100% of my husband’s paychecks into savings. It was tough – we both worked one full time job plus a demanding side hustle each to make it work. You could save more than 20% to push your monthly payment lower. Our monthly payment is low enough that if one of us was laid off, we could still afford to pay with just one income.

We considered moving out of state but nothing beats having family close by, especially once you have children. My daughter sees both sets of grandparents as well as her great grandparents multiple times a week and has a beautiful relationship with all of them. We always have help when we need to work or just want a date night together. I personally wouldn’t replace the convenience of having trusted help close by or the quality family time for cheaper cost of living.

[Jan]

We moved from OC to Utah in 2018 and after we decided we missed the beach and we still could not afford the single story home we really wanted, we moved to just north of Pensacola last August.

We love it here. Moving from family is hard, but maybe your family would consider eventually relocating closer to you, wherever you decide to go. As people shift from expensive states like CA home prices go up where people are moving to.

If you have any thoughts about moving I would do it while interest rates are still in the single digits!

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