[Landon]

When living with family at age 22, what are some of the best ways to be generous and contribute to the household?

I am looking to create more balance in my life.

It always takes a community to get someone to fire. What are the best ways to appreciate those who help us reach our goals?

Any personal experiences from both the young adults living with family and or the Parents with young adults living with them are much appreciated.

Thank you.

[Todd]

As a parent with an adult child living with us; help out, do the dishes without being asked.

Take care of the lawn, offer to make dinner every now and then.

Keep the guest bath clean, help out cleaning the comon areas.

Honestly it doesn’t take much to show appreciation and it will go a long way.

[Stephanie]

Don’t leave a mess. Turn lights off, be considerate about long showers. Those things cost you nothing and you’ll be better on your own by doing these things.

Cooking, cleaning, yard work all go along way too! How thoughtful of you to be so considerate!!

[Bassel]

Show the family you are being smart with the money you’re saving. Help keep the house clean.

You have good intuition.

[Carrie]

My father moved in with us after my momma passed away. He walks the dog 3 times a day (great for him and the dog!).

He feeds the dog twice a day.

He loads, washes, and unloads the dishes. He runs out and buys a gallon of milk when he empties it.

He empties the kitchen trash when it’s needed, and he pays attention to the scheduled trash day and wheels the trash can out to the curb. And he does all of this without me even asking.

We are so grateful he is with us and pitches in!

[Darlene]

Ask your father what he does to look after the family. Shadow him and learn to do it- from maintaining the lawnmower to learning his chili recipe.

Then do the same with your mother.

My youngest was 20 when his dad died of a cardiac arrest, and it’s been a process of becoming aware of the invisible caretaking (like checking the tire pressure) as well as missing the appreciated things (like his Sunday brunch.)

[Nisha]

Contribute – view yourself as a member of a team and help ease the burden of keeping the team running.

The fact that you’re asking this shows that you have self awareness and emotional intelligence, but the real proof is in the execution.

Help prep dinner, lay the table, offer to clean up afterwards, do the laundry – often just asking “how can I help?” Goes a long way.

[Valerie]

Look for what needs to be done and do it. Even if this means setting a reminder on your phone and cleaning for just 15 minutes a day, this will make a difference.

Also, if you are out running errands, text whoever is the mental load bearer and ask if there is anything you can pickup while you are out (bananas, TP, the ingredient they are substituting in tonight’s dinner because they just realized they are out).

[Sara]

lots of communication. I live next door to my mom. We communicate daily what dinner plans are and share a calendar so we know who will be home and when.

And never underestimate the power of sitting together around the table for meals!

[Seth]

You already have the right mindset. Don’t be a burden. Do chores, offer to help out financially and respect the house rules.

I lived at home until 23 and it helped me a lot.

[Jamie]

Do chores without being asked (especially mowing and other hard physical work, and clean up after yourself.

Keep your things put away.

Love, Mom.

[Jule]

What an amazing and thoughtful young man you are.
Some ideas:

Help with lawn care, clean your space (bedroom, bathroom), offer to take parents out to dinner once a month, clean the windows every six months, if you are staying for an extended period of time (over a year) and an appliance breaks, offer to replace or fix it.

[Laura]

My daughter (who is your age) and I were having this exact conversation last night.

She and I don’t live together, but her dad and I both helped her financially as she was in college and are still helping now as a new graduate.

She wanted to start contributing toward some of the expenses that her dad and I cover and she said she felt guilty that we help as much as we do.

I told her that the best way that she could help was to finally read that The Simple Path to Wealth that I got her a couple of Christmases ago and to begin learning all she can and begin investing now while she is young.

When I was young I didn’t invest.

I had a mental block that only wealthy people invested, not realizing that I could attain wealth through that myself.

I would love for whatever few hundreds of dollars she wanted to pitch in to help out to instead be put in to investments.

If she were here in the house and wanting to contribute in a non-monetary way, the things that I would really love help with would be unloading the dishwasher, folding and putting away clothes, taking the trash bags out to the outdoor dumpster, sweeping the floors, and helping put the clean sheets on the bed.

I’m not saying for her to do it instead of me all the time, but just to pitch in with those.

Those are the tasks that I don’t really like. When my boyfriend is over visiting, he always pitches in with those and it’s helped me realize how much I appreciate that help.

I pay someone to do my grass cutting.

I used to do it myself but it would always stir up my allergies so bad that I’d be out of commission for about a day thanks to having to take benadryl, so it was worth it to hire that out.

If you don’t mind yard work, I’m sure thar would be appreciated, too.

Lastly, I have projects that are on my to-do list.

I teach, so I usually tackle those things at fall break, Christmas break, or spring break.

Things like cleaning out a closet, organizing the boxes in the attic, cleaning out the garage and rearranging stuff there, taking things to Goodwill, etc.

Perhaps if you know your folks have things like those that they want to tackle, you could help with that.

Things like this are a huge help to your parents, I would imagine.

That type of help from my adult children and my boyfriend means the world to me.

[Erin]

What a cool question. would also add, think of ways to connect with them outside of chores and responsibilities.

If they want, talk with them about their day, be a listening ear. Play a board game watch a movie together, go for a walk.

Not to the point of being in their space too much, but this is also an opportunity to deepen your relationship as you are now also an adult.

[Diann]

Clean up after yourself always.
Be aware of everybody’s schedule and work yours into theirs.

It’s not a weakness, it’s not bowing down to others, it’s being aware of how others have priorities just like you and it’s a valuable skill to learn.

Sometimes you want to shower the same time as someone else. Well, you may have to defer to them because they need to be at work before you or vice versa.

Share the kitchen.

Sometimes you’re going to want to fix something for yourself and sometimes someone else will be wanting to cook the same time you want to…again, compromise.

Be aware of what you are allowed to eat or not. Don’t eat all of one thing before asking or knowing you can.

Keep the grocery list updated or replace items that you all the last of if it’s a popular item.

Drives me nuts to KNOW I have bought two of something for a recipe and someone eats 1.5 of them…

so then I couldn’t make what I had planned AND I have to buy the item again.

Buy your own groceries if you want specific things/treats.

Your family loves you, but they don’t want to spend 20 minutes trying to figure out which item you want OR which one you will be happy substituting the item with.

Get your laundry done in a timely matter, especially if you are particular about it, how much soap you prefer to use or have a setting you prefer.

Because if I need the washer and you are at work until 11:30 PM and you are particular, I am going to put the wet clothes in a laundry basket for you to do with what you want.

Have lived with 3 different young adults in our house in the last 9 years.

I have issues living with others.

The reason I had issues was because I have lived with others who didn’t clean up after themselves, left wet laundry in the washer and dry laundry in the dryer, who left the kitchen a mess and so on and so on.

Respect for boundaries, awareness, emotional maturity and compromise helps A LOT.

[Lydia]

Remember not to revert to being a child (though tempting). Don’t eat all of something without asking (maybe the cook or parent wanted some of those blueberries).

Without being asked (it’s a burden on parents to constantly have to ask, ask, ask): Carry out trash, carry in groceries, turn lights off when you leave, keep your room clean, make your bed daily, help in the yard, wash your dishes and theirs, etc.

Take care of yourself fully – take showers, do your own laundry, get yourself to work or school, etc.

[Michael]

You will achieve fire faster if you don’t contribute anything financially.

One of my biggest mistakes was getting my own place at 18.

I would have been so much farther along had I invested those funds.

I was working +80hrs weeks, so it’s not like I was ever at my place for anything besides sleep anyway

[Michele]

Same as others about just helping out and don’t make work for me, but what really makes me happy is seeing my kid mindfully work on their financial plan.

They have a big advantage living at home and I want them to maximize their opportunity of not having to pay rent and utilities by investing in their future instead of blowing (all) their money.

I sincerely hope they can make their own dreams come true and not be held back by financial insecurity.

That’s the best thing my kid can do to show they appreciate living at home.

That and spending time with me while we can.

[Tiffany]

Take on household bills. Offer based on what you feel is feasible or discuss with your parents on which bill(s) you should start paying.

Do more household chores.

This can be preparing meals for the family, cleaning, taking out trash every week, maintaining the outside, etc.

Help reduce some of the mental load.

[Ashley]

My 21 yr old lives at home. I don’t expect him to help monetarily since he has his own vehicle payment, insurance and phone bill.

However, sometimes he will get some groceries and he helps around the house.

Dishes, garbage and making sure his room is cleaned up.

He also does his own laundry.

Sometimes he mows, but normally my boyfriend or his son does that.

He also does extra things if I ask him.

[Aubrae]

I moved in with my dad when I was 23 for a year. First thing I did was ask if he’d Ike rent.

He declined then I said I’d like to help with groceries, did he prefer $100 a month for that or for me to buy groceries.

He said I could buy groceries from time to time so I did.

I also used a spare car when I first got there so I paid my part for insurance.

And helped clean etc.

[Patrick]

Do things without being asked. Dishes, trash , pet care, car wash, lawn care, laundry.

Wash windows, clean the oven, clean up dog poop, do what nobody else wants to do.

Pay rent If you see it needs done, do it without being told or asked.

Use your brain to see what needs done.

[Julissa]

That’s great that you are looking at this time to save and be closer to your fire goals.

My son started working over 2 years ago and already has reached over 100k at 20 years old.

That alone makes me happy about his decision to stay home.

He also helps me with anything I need and with his younger brothers. It’s a win win for both of us.

What I will say is that many people your age don’t have a strong work ethic and jump from job to job.

Especially since you have less finacial responsibility.

Your family will be happy knowing you have a steady job and a strong work ethic.

That is what my son has and I couldn’t be happier.

[Author]

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