[USER]

What advice would you give someone who is in year 20 of their teaching career and 15 years from retirement who just has nothing left to give.

They go into work an hour before school starts, they go home and do more work when they are with their kids, and its never enough.

The workload just continues to increase year after year. And the person’s mental health is trashed.

But at the same time, they have two school aged kids, a mortgage, and a partner who makes less than half what the teacher partner makes and they are unwilling to get a better paying job.

So the teacher can’t take a paycut and move into a new field at an entry position if they want to keep their house.

They also don’t have the money/time/energy to get another degree while working full time and caring for kids after school.

They feel completely trapped.

[Denise]

Marriage counseling and or divorce. The partner has to help.

[Toshia]

Is it appropriate to suggest that the teacher sets the boundaries for what time they can commit, and what they, professionally deem to be most important?

[Erika]

Apply to teach for the Dept of Defence Dependent Schools (DoDDS). That’s what my mom did at 48. We moved to Japan for 10 years (and then Germany, but there are so many places!), got free on-base housing (no bills), a great wage, great community, great place to raise kids, and great federal health insurance for life.

She’s now 85 and gets pensions from both the Fed Gov’t and from her first 25 yrs in CA public schools.

In my next life I might make this career path. So much fun! (And my father taught English parr-time and they were able to live on that side gig and save all of her paycheck since there very few living expenses.)

I hope this might inspire you!

[Quinn]

Honestly, I’d leave. They know they aren’t pulling their weight and the don’t care. You shouldn’t be struggling by yourself in a relationship.

[Cari]

Have them join life after teaching Facebook group. I’m in it myself. It’s all about what we can transition to and so helpful to be in groups where we don’t feel like we’re failure to quit a job where we are not respected and Burt out.

[Cathy]

Can they pivot to an administration role or high school guidance counselor?

[Becky]

I quit teaching after year 15, we started our own business and I haven’t regretted it once. Get. Out.

[Sherry]

Transition is scary, but you can always go back to teaching. They’ll always need you. So, try something else that earns more.

(Fellow teacher here, on my first year out of the classroom)

Also, be explicit about your needs while you carry the financial burden.

If that’s not getting through to your partner, counseling is a must.

[JR]

Here’s what my wife did.
She was in the classroom for 13 years and wanted a new challenge so she applied to be a math coach and then moved to a content coach.

Did those two positions for the next 9 years. She really enjoyed these positions because she got to work with teachers and kids.

Last year her boss all of a sudden retired and my wife landed the Coordinator position and works in the district office.

Not sure about other districts but this position starts higher than a principals salary.

[Ashley]

The “trapped” is likely mostly because of not feeling like the partner shares a common goal and there is a lack of appreciation and willingness to step up.

So, I’d suggest marriage counseling or at the very least any of the John Gottman marriage books.

Are there any licensing requirements for moving to a lower less stressful grade?

[Cori]

There is a transitioning teachers Facebook group out there that us full of people in (nearly) the same predicament and giving advice on how they transitioned. I would join that and give your information.

Otherwise there has to be a discussion between the partners.

They both have to pull equal weight or the one partner is just a parent to the other. And that’s not ok.

Sorry you’re going through thus and good luck

[Adam]

Marriage counseling. Not a sustainable situation for like 10 different reasons

[Jaime]

Get out. I did. Be strategic. I think teachers, especially those technically inclined, are perfect for RevOps and Project Management jobs.

I got lucky and got Salesforce certified in 2022, got my first job as a consultant and retired from teaching after 24 years.

It was the best decision I ever made.

[Julie]

I would stop doing so much as a teacher. Don’t go in so early and don’t do work at home.

Do your best job possible during contract hours, then go home and enjoy your family. Signed, a former teacher

[Mary]

Marriage counseling and look into state employment. In Pennsylvania, my teaching years are convertible to state working credit years.

[Heather]

I’m there also. Teachers should qualify for retirement after 20 years like police in my opinion. I’ve given so much that I’m completely empty.

[Theresa]

Is taking a job in a new district an option? A change of scenery could make all the difference. I’d recommend counseling and find ways to set boundaries on your time.

Additionally, check job boards for local colleges and universities for support staff.

I transitioned from high school teacher to teaching lab coordinator and have zero regrets.

And lastly, is it possible to take one of those jobs with a pay cut and pick up hours in a part time job to make up the difference?

You’re already putting in that time as it is…might as well get paid for it

[Sam]

A sabbatical now. Marriage counseling. Selling the house probably to take some of the pressure off.

[Kristine]

You are only stuck as far as you let yourself be. You can downsize your home and bills and be happy with less in a less draining lower paying job
I have done it many times and have zero regrets

[Phillip]

Switch to a better district. They are out there. Many pay well, are supportive and encourage family time.

[Suz]

So sorry to hear about your burnout. You have so many skills that are marketable in fields adjacent to classroom teaching! Allow yourself to explore other ways to use these skills to continue to make a difference in the world in a different way.

[Victoria]

I have no advice as I find myself in a similar situation. I know how hard and dark and endless this place/phase seems.

I’m sorry.

[Bonnie]

Counseling and look for another job. There are lots of jobs in education other than teacher. If they are on a state pension, look for other state jobs.

Universities have lots of opportunities for employment.

It seems the situation has made the person feel they have no choice or options; when there really are lots of options out there.

Counseling for the individual would probably help them see things more clearly.

I started off as classroom teacher, later worked for an educational services agency, then virtual teacher and administrator, and now administrator at a research center at a university.

All of my different jobs were under the same retirement system.

There is also virtual education which is a different type of teaching, with a bit less stress (at least that is my opinion).

[Natascha]

Just a message of hope – my really long marriage was similar in that he refused to help carry the weight. There were many other issues that led to me having to file for divorce.

He refused counseling and I was tired of putting in all the effort. Fast forward to now and my life is so much better.

Not stating that divorce is the answer, but mainly want to illustrate that sometimes the circumstances are so heavy they can feel insurmountable.

But once you eliminate the burden(s), you feel much lighter in other areas of life!

[Shelley]

If it’s bad enough, take a medical leave of absence to care for your heath.

Find out what other state entities are on the same pension program. In our state, PreK-12 schools are on the same pension plan as only a handful of public universities.

Other government jobs are on other pension plans. You are not wrong about being trapped.

All education jobs are exploitative, but if you can change to a different area of education, e.g., advising at a university or becoming a reading specialist, you might get a second wind.

Consider teaching in an online school. Several states and districts have them.

Consider doing something completely different like retail (e.g., Costco) or medical/industrial sales. With your people skills and managing-the-universe skills, you’ll find yourself in a leadership role pretty quickly, I’d bet.

[Alps]

Lots of things to think about here. (1) Check your teacher’s retirement agency. Talk to them about options. There may be ways to retire early with less pay, buying “air time,” and retiring earlier with sick days.

(2) You may be able to work for a local university and still pay into teacher’s retirement.

I was shocked to find I had 3 less years because I had worked full-time as a secretary at my university…which paid into retirement (nice surprise).

Perhaps working something less stressful would be worth a pay cut while still allowing you to pay into your retirement pension.

There have been big cuts to the tech industry. It’s brutal for many people looking for alternatives. It depends on your degree and background.

I recommend to network and look at opportunities–pay, responsibilities, and stability.

Last, but not least, I knew a teacher who transitioned to nursing. She told me, “I wish I had just stayed in teaching.

This is just hard in different ways…and now I’ll never retire.” This stuck with me.

Teaching pensions (depending on your state) can pay well and be very stable.

Also check with retirement…they usually take your top 3 years (or something similar) to calculate your percentage.

So… you could even work as a parapro for a few years if needed.

Talk to your retirement agency to think about all your possibilities within your state and location.

Best of luck…I know how hard education is getting for so many good people.

[Author]

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