[USER]

I need encouragement, insights, advice on how to become FI.

Im 37 yrs old married, no mortgage, we dont own any investments. We moved in US in 2021.

I have a retirement investment thru my employer 403b and 403b roth. total 40k.

matching is up to 2.5%. husband does not have a 401k since he does not believe in these sort of investment and no 401k offered him thru employment.

he is unemployed. he doesnt have any savings, he is 10yrs older than me too.

he hates it here, been fired because he is opinionated and want to get things done right at work.

I pay 540/ month for a car loan 2 yrs left to pay.

8k cc debt. i have paid off 1 credit card finally.

paying 695 per month international student college fees ( its a long story! ) on F1 student visa. i will get too many whys here:)
I pay all rent 1720, utilities, medical insurances, car insurances 760/6months .

1 source of income thats me. i earn roughly net 3800 per month if i have no overtime.

I have tried uber eats, i dont feel comfortable uber driving being a woman.

so I pick up extras at work, but due to low census, management is cancelling any overtime now.

I also have a retirement investment were we came from about 30k USD that is still in an overseas acct which i am thinking of withdrawing and moving it to my US retirement fund.

im worried about finances, in as much as I want to max out my contributions into my 403b, i cannot since I have lots of bills to pay.

I have been looking at other options, like passive income amazon, affiliate marketing, day trading, bitcoin etc but do not have enough knowledge on this.

thinking of moving into another state, this sunshine, beaches and spring has been great but does not pay my bills sadly,

[Nada]

I am sorry but your husband attitude is a huge problem.

He should be financially contributing to the household.

Help you out and be willing to be financially responsible.

[Lisa]

Your husband needs to either help out financially by getting a job and paying toward expenses or he shouldn’t be your husband anymore.

This shouldn’t be all on you if he is able to work.

I don’t think you should withdraw your retirement account because you might be more tempted to spend it on expenses.

Can you sell your car and pay it off, and buy a cheaper car? That’s a huge monthly payment.

[Ami]

You have a giant leak in your finances and it is shaped exactly like your husband!

HE needs to be delivering food or walking dogs or whatever it takes to get this under control.

[Cari]

I think that you should divorce your husband. You state that he wants to “control” your money.

You state that he doesn’t “believe” in 401ks.

You state that he got fired because he’s “opinionated.”

He sounds almost dangerous? If you aren’t safe, there’s ways to get help and get away from a potentially volatile, controlling man.

But yeah. He’s the problem.

[Travis]

This is not this time to think about FI. This is the time to think about survival.

I think once you make that shift you’ll start moving in the right direction.

No one has mentioned the $30K in international retirement that you have.

DO NOT move that over, at least not yet.

As it is, it’s protected from divorce.

You would have to give away half if you moved it here.

I’m not telling you to get divorced, but keep that money where it’s protected.

Now with the rest of your situation…

I would make sure there’s no money in the account, and that your spouse knows it, and can’t spend it because it’s not there.

There are plenty of ways to do that. Best way I can think of is by paying extra on your car payment.

That will help ease your financial situation, AND put an on purpose strain on your budget.

Remember, your spouse’s current view (and your family apparently) is that there’s plenty of money to go around.

Make sure there’s never any money.

Pay the bills, buy groceries, and get that checking account down to zero! He may have access, but essentially his access is to view an empty account.

Then maybe he’ll decide it’s time for him to contribute.

[Ron]

I am so sorry you are in the desperate situation.

The problem seems to be your husband! He needs to help pull this plow.

Yes, working is hard; that is why they have to pay you to do it.

All of us, with a few exceptions, had/have jobs where some are all of the job tasks were hated. That goes with the territory.

It is nice, if you like your job but it is not mandatory.

Tell him to get another job within a week.

God knows there are dozens of job openings I see every week. He may not like the job but very few of us like our jobs! If he does not like the job he gets, then he should strive to get a better job while still working at that job.

Job hint: Garbagemen make great wages and the companies are always looking for additional help.

And landscaping companies are the same.

And there are many other job categories where there are openings almost 100% of the time for men who are willing to work hard and show up every day.

He needs to start bringing home a paycheck or you should “fire him.” Do not put up with his laziness.

Have him either start pulling the plow or make him go find some other sugar momma to take him in.

[Kayla]

I would recommend creating an emergency fund before I focus on investments, especially if you’re the only income earner.

I would also have a heart to heart with your husband and have him start earning money ASAP.

He can do Uber/Lyft to bring in any type of income.

Then he needs to find a job that can better suit his personality and pays better.

Also take a look at your expenses and see where you can cut corners.

I would stay away from day trading and bitcoin.

It’s very risky and you don’t have any extra income to lose/gamble on that type of investing.

You need to make sure you have enough money in the bank that if you lose your job or are unable to work, you won’t be homeless in a month.

[Adam]

Marriage counseling. Your husband is a huge piece of work.

[Adam]

Marriage counseling. Your husband is a huge piece of work.

[Author]

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