[USER]

Any tips for surviving corporate burnout when you have golden handcuffs and are working to FI?

My spouse and I are really privileged to have WFH corporate jobs that pay well.

However, they are very stressful and demanding and it feels like they never turn off.

In addition I work a side job remotely consulting in my field and while I know people would kill for this kind of side hustle, I find myself dreading it to the point I have paralysis to do the work.

I could make so much extra at it but I’m simply too burnt out.

We have two young kids, 4 and 6, and are about 30% to FI.

We know we can’t work like this for ever which is why we started saving, and we take a fun trip every 3ish months when my older child has a school break but the time between that we just dread work.

Knowing we have a TON to be thankful for, how are you guys dealing with the burnout of a demanding corporate job?

[Darryll]

Dude, you cut back.
You can’t sprint your way to winning a marathon, even if you are 30% of the way through it.

Why not cut out the side gig, just work for a bit, and have an easier time enjoying the accumulation phase?

Maybe it takes two years longer.

Who cares?

You’ll have 43 years of retirement instead of 45.

[Erica]

You need to cut back. 2 and 4 is the absolute insane peak of hard parenting.

Surgeon General literally just issued a warning parents are too stressed.

Revisit the side hustle when they go to Kindy.

There is no amount of money that could make me take on a side hustle right now (kids 5, 8, 11).

Stop the side hustle.

Outsource everything from cleaning to meal service.

Just give yourself a couple more years to breathe.

It gets better as kids age

[Tony]

I don’t get the side gig if you’re already killing yourself with stress.

Something’s gotta give on your end, and if it’s not the side gig and/or switching to more manageable, less stressful jobs then it’s going to be your mental health, and eventually, your physical health. I recommend auditing your monthly budget and looking at ways to reduce your spending in ways that don’t impact your happiness or quality of life.

That way you have less pressure to meet a certain income threshold and you have more leeway to switch jobs or careers to something that might pay less but will also be less stressful.

Life is too short for that nonsense.

[Ella]

Yes, I do. I am/was in the same boat. At a certain point, two years ago the burnout was very intense…

I was juggling 3 major accounts, attending/leading 12-16 meetings daily, sitting at my desk staring at a screen for endless hours.

That month, suddenly my boss had a massive heart attack and died (40 years old, amazing person with 2 adorable girls…).

Although, our shovel was objectively very big, I was terrified and contemplated quitting right then.

That’s when I reached out here to the ChooseFI community (I think anonymously) and ONE person gave me the best advice of all: invest in your health. Make it a priority!

It hit home because years ago when I worked in sales, I remember a famous mentor saying that the most successful sales people are the ones who see their body as an asset and take well care of it to be even more effective.

I realized then that I did not need to quit, but rather *learn* to prioritize my health and happiness over work.

It has to be a win/win for both you and your employer.

Otherwise, yes you are in prison. The shift has been life-changing and it triggered a total lifestyle makeover (with me and my husband learning about anti-inflammatory nutrition, intermitting fasting, the power of sleep and rest and dates and family get-aways, etc).

I reached a point where, in most days, I do not mind working because my cup is full in other ways.

Earlier this year, we even brought our work (and our kids) with us in Europe.

It was a bit crazy but also amazing. My priorities are scheduled before works kicks in.

My calendar have recurring blocks for what is most important to me (i.e. I work out every day before meetings, on Wednesdays I quit at 4pm because it’s our family outing day.

I take the day off for our birthdays or special occasions, I take walking meetings any time I can, I delegate and say no to busy-work, etc).

I was sure I’d lose my job by prioritizing myself but it has not happened.

Two years later, I am still here earning well but in a better relationship with work and with myself.

My wholehearted advice is this: learn to be healthy and happy BEFORE reaching FI, while still working.

“Life is not a guarantee” and we have to be able to enjoy the journey itself or there may be major disappointment at the end.

[Moore]

Can you SlowFI, CoastFI, redefine what FIRE looks like to you? If you don’t need the side hustle, stop.

It’s impacting your health which in turn can impact so many things like your family, etc.

You have the keys to the handcuffs.

What is most important to you?

[Derek]

Cal Newport’s podcast covers your situation every few episodes. You can likely improve your quality of life with some restructuring of your work and boundaries, while keeping your excellent situation intact.

FWIW I was in your situation for the last 5 years (without kids) and quit my job to pursue my side hustle full time.

It was too much and I was about to crack!

I’m working just as hard now but only on one thing.

My undivided attention makes a world of difference in stress levels.

[Michael]

If you’re about 30% to FI, then the remaining 70% will go relatively quickly, since your capital should start doing some of the work.

So, you likely don’t really need to be saving as much as you might have wanted to save when you were just starting.

[Julia]

Hello from someone with kids 7 and 9! We were definitely at our rock bottom with kids your age.

We actually moved to Fl from CA as part of our quicker FI/less burnout strategy.

We try to tackle some issues with money, some boundaries at work, and frankly weed (him) and antidepressants (me).

Changing the job is not really an option because chances are you are going to be as burnout at a different place, but for less money.

Having one partner quit to better support the family

altogether is an option, potentially, but none of us wanted to take it.

My husband actually changed a few companies in the past 4 years because he is in a high demand and he contracted with his current company while also worked full time with another one last year (primary employer approved).

That further burned him out, don’t do that! I’m mostly fine right now: older kiddo has friends in the neighborhood and spends a lot of time hanging out with them.

We pay for a nanny/babysitter that picks kids up from school, feeds them and takes to afterschool activities, and also with some light chores when kids are entertaining themselves (light cleaning, laundry, occasionally cooking).

We have a good iRobot for daily cleaning and occasionally hire a crew for a deep cleaning.

I’m learning to stop considering my husband asa first option whenever a maintenance item comes up and call a handyman instead.

He learns to stop getting irritated that things aren’t organized, I also do the best I can.

It was gradually getting better for the past 3 years, I can’t say I’m fully back to being myself thatIw as pre kids.

However, I recently did a check up and discovered I was low on a couple of amino acids and both can cause cognitive issues, and require precursors like Magnesium and B6.

So definitely is worth checking the usuals like vit D, ferritin, thyroid hormones etc, because some of it might be not just job related.

[Sarah]

To help me w this I hired a nanny for the kids. I worked from home 50% of the time and it really helped.

The house was picked up at the end of the day and the kids were loved and happy.

If you don’t want that, consider a weekly or bi weekly maid, and a meal delivery service.

Also order groceries online and just pick up.

Saves time and energy.

It’s hard! Hang in there.

But enjoy it along the way and be kind to yourself.

[Joyce]

Do you prefer the side hustle or is it just added stress?
If you prefer it, have you built it enough that you can transition to it full time?

[Gabby]

Are u working this hard because you have to, to survive or because u are trying to hit your goals faster?

I would look into hiring out for some things.

So that way you don’t have so much chaos going around.

Also I’m not sure what ur side hustle is but mine was real estate and when I hired VAs for admin and phone support it’s been such a weight off my shoulders.

So really evaluate that as well.

[John]

Cut the side hustle. Find ways to deal with the stress. Take breaks. Meditate. Workout.

I put myself in the ER with a demanding corporate job.

Almost passed out in the hallway.

Make small changes but move in a positive direction.

Good luck.

[Mandy]

Speaking from experience, initially it is good to clear away everything that doesn’t serve you or need to be done right now.

Take some time to spend time on the couch with the family watching movies, slowing down, etc..

Give yourself time to rest.

When the energy starts to return invest in healthy activities – exercise, cooking healthy meals.

Burnout is an emergency signal from your adrenal glands.

Ignoring it will not turn out well for you.

But if you take the time to slow down and move everything aside that isn’t necessary right now you can recover, and continue on with your quest.

Also, daily gratitude, even for the littlest things is incredibly beneficial.

Take stock each day of what you’re grateful for and you can even include your family members in the exercise – perhaps over family dinner.

[Stephanie]

Everybody dreads work regardless of the occupation you have. The harder you work and the more you make the faster you get to stop.

Head down, focus, and keep going until you get it over with.

Many people would love the opportunity you have for a high income potential side hustle.

Don’t take it for granted, use it to get to retirement faster

[Rick]

Work on mental toughness through a physical hobby. It pays more dividends than a REIT, ok bad fin nerd joke.

But serious, it pays a tons of dividends. You are happier. You are in better shape. You have more energy.

You have more endurance.

And ironically most jobs leave you the hell alone when they know you are cycling for 3 hours, running for 4 hours, swimming for 1 hour, backpacking for a weekend, etc etc etc.

You will find tons of high performing high stress jobs at any employer where the person is a fitness hobbyist and most often it’s outdoor fitness.

So my advice is don’t change the job, change you.

[Damon]

I don’t think this works for the majority of people but the way I dealt with it is become my own boss.

In addition, as other have mentioned, when stress was the highest at the office I made sure I hired people to do delegate as much as possible around the house- cook, clean, do the lawn, drop kids off in the long line at school, etc.

I still have a guy who comes and changes the light bulbs.

My downtime is used to hang with my family or even veg, but I don’t use it to do work I can pay someone else a few dollars to perform.

When I read post like this I do wonder what exactly is going on that makes you feel so stressed?

Probably a difficult conversation to explain in Facebook.

[Tammy]

You sound like my husband when he was WFH for about 4 years. He was laid off last year after a new VP cleaned house, and now he’s working a more stressful job in an office 4 days/week.

Be grateful for the WFH gigs as they may not last forever.

Can you set boundaries and cut back on hours and/or cut back on the side job?

[Maggie]

You must write your goals. Write with ink on paper. Put on one of those small tablets that fit in your purse.

Read daily and calculate net worth quarterly.

Run the pension estimates at work and put in your book.

This will keep you focused.

Then chant “40 hours and a check”

[Johnny]

FI isn’t the final goal, it’s only the tool that opens up enough spaciousness for u to spend time and live life the way u want.

It’s important to figure out now what are the core elements of that life.

Maybe some of them can happen earlier (or now), even if that makes the “number” take longer to get to.

U will never be able to go back to this moment with ur kids now when u “make it” to ur number.

If traveling w kids is part of that dream, ur WFH job sounds like a unique advantage.

Also: never skimp on exercising even during a tough week.

It makes u happier and more resilient to keep going!

[Jillian]

I was in a similar situation earlier this year. I quit and took a 60% paycut. No regrets.

[Kristen]

How long would it take you to get to fi doing what you are doing now? If you aren’t enjoying the ride along the way and it takes 10 years of your life then maybe it’s not worth going so hard.

Maybe you get there in 15 or 20 years instead and slowly scale back on your savings rate as time goes on to have more flexibility.

[Author]

Posts