[Amanda]

How do you deal with lifestyle creep, especially when your spouse is on the spender mentality?

I don’t want to take away his joy from our success, but at the same time I am more interested in early retirement.

I’ve noticed the creep most in the little things that don’t break the budget but definitely add up over time like taking the tollway more often or grocery shopping without a structured meal plan

[Michel]

Yes, little things add up, but also give joy. I have the same situation. We have same goals but a different up bringing.

I always bring a drink from home for day trips he treats himself to coffee at timmies. I drive a 24 yr old car he has a new one.

But we use his for long trips and holidays. Mine just goes to town. That’s just who I am! Celebrate your difference, he helps me enjoy things.

I would never pay for a boat tour, he insisted, and I loved it. He balances my extreme frugal and reminds me to enjoy alittle.

I pack the cooler, he asks if I want to stop for ice cream. Moderation and a little treat once in a while

[Heidi]

You mentioned his spending is staying within the budget. If you are wanting to retire early you need to sit down with your husband. Find out if you two are on the same page with that idea.

If so, then you may need to revamp your current budget in order to make that happen.

Depending how far away that is, I would keep in mind a special treat now and then will help you both stay on budget until you reach that goal. Best wishes.

[Johnson]

By definition…
A budget is a noun and a verb
Both something you set and what you actually do
Bad or good
That’s the budget
Give each partner pr as needed
Some fun money
$50 a week
$200 a month
Less
More
Whatever it is
It’s a line item in the budget
Let it roll over
Agree to honor the budget
And or discuss larger purchases
Make a snowball debt plan

[Danielle]

Here’s the deal. My dad went to work the morning of November 5th 1983 and never made it home. He was killed in a work related accident.
Tomorrow is not promised.

Yes, having money for when we retire is what most people strive for. So did my dad.

Being frugal shouldn’t and I personally don’t believe it’s meant for people to stop living.

I buy Lego and a new set is budgeted into my monthly budget. If I don’t buy a new set; I normally find I want. Not need want.

If your husband is contributing to your future why make an issue when he wants something.

This is clearly my opinion but I’ve lived a LOT of life and seen a lot of unfair life events happened in the 42.9 years I’ve been alive. Tomorrow is not promised.

It sucks but no one is taking money with them when they go.

[Kim]

A budget will be freeing for you. Sit down and set one with him. When he spends it is meeting your long term goal AND keeping your peace of mind.

No more need to worry or mentally police those activities.

[Tommy]

That’s they I stopped going out for dinner/ happy hours. I quit Starbucks 2 years ago also.

[Kristel]

Life is too short. Many in the FIRE community met their goal, retired, and were back to work eventually.

Not sure how early you are hoping to retire, but while important to save for it…. it’s also important to embrace life.

Yes, there are free and cheap ways to do that, but keep it in mind.

We did a discretionary budget for each of us. You can do cash or a savings account for each of you to auto transfer.

When it’s gone it’s gone. No judgement or accountability for what you do with it.

I am the type to save for something bigger that I want.

They like Starbucks and dinners out with friends.

[Allison]

Before dealing with the “lifestyle creep” it would help to get in the page about each other’s goals.

Then figure out on paper (or in excel) how to make both your dreams come true given the resources available (budget and timeline)

[Cleo]

I agree with the comments of others about being okay with little things as long as they are within budget, but it seems like the things you mentioned are the result of a lack of planning rather than things that bring him joy.

It may be helpful to kindly and graciously point it out to him. “I’ve noticed you are taking the tollways a lot, is that intentional?

We’ve spent X amount on it this month.” “I noticed that we spent X amount on groceries and then we threw some of it out when we cleaned the fridge.

To me this seems like money wasted.

I’m happy to help you meal plan and do the shopping with you if you want”.

Totally just ideas, adjust to your own communication style

[Ashley]

Do you have a monthly budget where you both discuss your long term goals and agree on discretionary spending for each of you?

It may be an issue where he needs to have his own personal monthly limit that is built into the budget but if he’s just swiping the debit card willy nilly throughout the month and not paying attention and it’s preventing y’all from hitting long term goals then you two need to discuss and agree on a good compromise limit.

[Brenda]

We have the same issues. I’m a saver, he’s a spender. I’ve had my suv for 7 years. He’s had 4 Trucks during that time. 3 utv’s, 3 cargo trailers & 3 travel trailers

[Lynne]

If you want to retire early. You do the meal plan, and you adjust your spending to achieve what you want. If you have already spoken to them numerous times, think of it as their allowance.

We pull 400 out every two weeks (paydays) he gets his allowance (as he calls it) and I get mine.

Mine usually is more for groceries. The allowances vary by pay (with what needs paid and such). Let them be happy

[Margie]

Put everything in the budget and allow for these things at a reasonable rate.

For meals, work out a flexible plan.

[Annette]

Tough to dictate someone else’s behavior. Set long and short term goals together with criteria for each.

Maybe if it’s in writing it will be easier to understand and follow.

[Ann]

The bank account for spending money (debit card) stays the same and if the money is gone before end of month then you have information about your overspending

[Regene]

Agree on an amount each month for no questions spending for each of you- put it in writing, in a written budget- hopefully over time he will see what that little takes away from.

[Author]

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