[Astoria]

I think I’m really struggling with some mild hoarding. So many days I just want to get rid of most of the things I own.

My space is totally livable, but it’s a small apartment and I have limited storage.

I fear that I’m not going to be able to afford the things I get rid of again in case I need them someday.

I know this is due to my tumultuous childhood and my family struggling with finances at times.

Any advice?

[Toni]

I spent many years as a professional home organizer who specialized in neurodivergent folks and folks with adhd.

I would invite you to focus less on what you want to give up and more on what you want to do in your space.

Is it play board games with your family, do more baking, have your crafting area actually be functional?

Sometimes it’s nice to work from the end.

And then we have to let go of some judgments.

You know you have too many of something when it clogs up your ability to function the way you want to function in your home.

If you have nine winter coats, and you can store nine winter coats, even if you’re never going to wear them again …

I am giving you permission to keep all nine winter coats if they make you happy.

[Kaye]

The rule so often heard is “If you haven’t used it in a year”. How about if you haven’t used it in 5 years? I’m not talking about treasured family heirlooms, I mean, clothing, small appliances, craft projects/supplies, spices, coffees, flour, etc.

Look at how many of an item you have.

I found I had ice scrapers with a backup for each car and then brand new still with tags.

Do the easier items first and the more you pare down, the easier it will become

[Margaret]

I collect things too much, I’m slowly posting them on FB Marketplace and actual getting some spending money.

[Cindy]

When I feel overwhelmed I set a goal, like fill one box with stuff to donate.

It helps to get me started.

Sometimes one box is all I’ll do and other times, more than one box.

I’ve also set the timer for 15 minutes …

I’ll work on it for 15 minutes and then come back to it another time.

Just do what works best for you.

[Nancy]

The most helpful tip I ever learned was “Can I live without this?” If you can, just let someone else enjoy it.

[Alison]

What about exploring how safety has/has not been present (or was threatened) in your life.

I recommend writing about it four times a week for about 20 minutes per session.

Write your deepest thoughts and feelings.

I imagine the rational side of you knows that stuff doesn’t make you safe, but the emotional memories of childhood seem to be getting activated.

It might also be helpful to look at examples in your life when you managed difficulties, overcame obstacles, navigated a danger.

Best wishes.

[Maggie]

It’s really hard. Maybe do it very gradually. Pick a group of items then just pick one to donate or throw away.

Also check out if there is a Buy Nothing group in your area.

If someone is in great need of an item that you have but are not using it might help to let it go.

[Stephenie]

Counseling/therapy might help.
I have a tendency also to hoard, and its a family thing.

Here are some things tgat have helped me:

1. If I can’t find stuff, then ‘saving’ stuff is pointless. How many partial cupcake liners do I have because I couldn’t find them and went to the store and bought a new pack anyway? Saving it did not help.

2. I’m in my late 40s now. I pretty much know what I like.

There were several things I tried but don’t spend time on now.

I don’t regret that I tried stuff – but I want time and space to enjoy my limited time.

So the stuff that hasn’t made the top of the list needs to go
3. i do not have kids.

When parents are trying to help their children explore life, junk is going to pile up.

That’s a part of supporting their development.

But that is not ‘where’ I am in life, and there is no reason to hold onto things for someone else.

Most people my age have kids that have left the house and are cleaning all that stuff up.

Probably lots of memories – take photos and look for programs that help other kids

[Corrine]

Trauma has a big impact on our need for control. If your childhood was chaotic, your mind will try desperately to find control in the chaos.

This can present itself in hoarding disorders, disordered eating, etc.

Counseling can be so helpful to work through that trauma. Sometimes it’s not as easy as thinking “get rid of it if I haven’t used it”.

You got this!

[Amanda]

Have you used it in a year? Would it cost more than $20 replace? Is it an item that deteriorates like electronics?

Another trick is box up the maybes with no label.

If the box hasn’t been opened in a year and you can’t say exactly what’s in it…bye.

I garage sale most of our purge items and keep the money in an account to replace if it’s needed.

It’s usually not needed!

[Cindy]

Recently we went on vacation for several weeks. The car was loaded down but there were at least 3 boxes of stuff we never touched.

I told my son we had all we needed between what we took and what was provided in the hotels except for kitchen items.

If we can live comfortably with very little for an extended time, it’s time to declutter and simplify.

We have filled the car to donate tomorrow and filled a trash container for pickup.

It feels so good and has motivated us to do more.

Best wishes to you! You can do it!

[Ashley]

Well you are taking a huge step with acknowledging that you are struggling.

I understand its hard I do the same thing with resources.

I had a bit of a rough upbringing myself and also my grandmother was from the depression era so passed some if these habits to me.

Thankfully I have a partner that tells me enough is enough and stop tell I tell you to go.

[Crystal]

I’m a member of a Facebook group called Clear the Clutter and Breathe. People there are very helpful and supportive with this type of thing there.

Speaking with a counselor may also be helpful.

[Author]

Posts