[Priti]

Those who like to follow the book “Die with zero” and plan to contribute to kids success while they are in need than for them to wait to get the inheritance after we pass away, how are you plannng to do that without putting our retirement savings in jeopardy?

As parents, many of us want to provide financial support to our children, whether it’s for education, buying a home, or helping them get started in life.

However, we also have to be cautious about our own financial future, especially when it comes to protecting our retirement savings.

What are some practical strategies for striking this balance?

How can you assist your kids without compromising your long-term financial security?

If you’ve faced this challenge, we’d love to hear about your experience, tips, or any advice you have for others in a similar situation. What worked for you?

What would you do differently?

[Bunny]

We are making sure our kids are not taking on debt for college: helping them select a school within budget, encouraging scholarships, and cash flowing room & board.

We are teaching our kids to save the bulk of their earnings: we matched what they saved for to purchase an older model vehicle, we paid all of their living expenses so they could put 100% of earnings from their part time jobs into their IRAs, and we model good spending habits (used clothes, cooking at home, socializing by hosting at home, etc).

We earmarked the proceeds from a family vacation home that we sold as their down payment fund (in our name, not promised to them).

Whatever that grows to over the next 5-10 years is what we will offer to help them with (if they’re on the same good financial/life path) as a down payment on a first home.

ETA, we are also willing to consider being primary childcare for free, if it is beneficial to their lives as young parents.

[Sara]

Give once you feel your retirement is secure.

[Charlene]

Paid for 1st cars, paid for college/other trainings, matched Roth contributions starting at 16.

So, by late 20s they’re CoastFI and can focus on spending their earnings on supporting their current spending and only needing to contribute minimal amount to their own retirement.

Of course, modeling frugal living and savings without depravity throughout their lives.

[Randa]

So, my parents helped us when we really needed it – roof leak when we were starting out, septic repair there was no way we could afford on our new teacher salaries, etc. They only offered on their terms.

Later on, once we were able to manage that kind of stuff on our own, it was stuff like having a bunch of concrete poured so they could enjoy the grandkids enjoying on their bikes.

When they died, they left us a little bit, but the money they spent when they were alive was so beneficial to us and to them.

That said it was given, as Dad would say when“ we are gonna have a little money coming in,” and there was more than one time we had to work it out on our own – and we didn’t ask for it.

It was purely at their discretion – looking back it was probably based on if it was something that was going to really be detrimental to us and not just inconvenient.

Today, as we learned well from such great examples, we keep a little slush fund for each kid.

That way, when that kid has a need pop up, we can offer if it is within the realm of what we think will truly be detrimental and not just inconvenient.

[Josh]

We paided for most of our daughter undergrad, so that she only took the $5k/year loan that everyone can get.

She is in medical school and I am paying her rent and utilities.

We will hit fire when she graduates.

We will do some long term nomadic travel while she is in residency and then move to wherever she does (unless crazy hcol area) and be stay at home grandparents so she can balance having kids and a career.

[Grant]

Read the book and agree with most of it. With that said, you have to look out for your safety/well being first.

So, one way is that when the market is up (like this year for instance), you take them on an expensive vacation.

Down years maybe something local.

I would also be honest with them about what you are doing and why.

[Frank]

Have a good portfolio for withdrawing money and a flexible withdrawal strategy, so that we can operate at a 5% safe withdrawal rate, including about 20% of that given away or spent on children and others annually.

The main obstacles here are refusing to diversify adequately, hoarding too much cash (often in some form of bucketeering) and irrationally pessimistic forecasting via misuse of Never Retirement calculators.

If your answer to every financial issue and plan ends up being “don’t spend much money” in the end instead of really making an effort to figure out how you can spend more money, then yeah, you are going to have a problem with this.

But the good news is that you will easily be able to afford multiple golden coffins at the end. Nothing like that Death Party!

[Brian]

FatFire couple here, about 10 years away from target. Only son is currently 2.

Assuming good choices and relationships, we’ll buy him a car at 16, tutors, pay for college, grad school, wedding/ring, help with home down-payment, college fund for his potential future kids, joint trips, etc.

All of that would be more helpful to him than a million dollar check when he’s 50 is our approach… but he might get that too depending on returns.

[Nicholas]

Your gifts are factored into your monthly expenses

[Golden]

529 plan to help for college. That’s it. When I’m gone, if there’s anything left, it’ll go to the kids.

Harsh? That’s life.

[Mikaela]

My Mom is in the wealth de-cumulation phase and she’s gifting most of our inheritance while she’s still alive. This way she can see the positive impact in our lives, younger people are usually more strapped for cash, and I’m in a position where I will be able to provide for my Mom later if necessary, without all the extra tax implications or nursing home grabs.

[Mee]

I have two kids. Personally I purchased their first car, have a 529 for college, saving to provide $10,000 at 30 and plan to fund their Roth IRA for 5 years.

I also plan to travel with them as long as possible.

[Cathrine]

Homeschooled my children and got one (so far) through 2 years of community college by the time he graduated high school.

Matched his vehicle savings so he could get a reliable work truck, saving to do the same with son #2.

Put amount equivalent to their earnings into Roth IRA last year.

Have briefly discussed living at home with the 18 yo when he starts working so he can save, invest.

Have frequent conversations about financial independence.
So far that’s it.

[Michael]

I help my son in practical ways- avoiding debt, still lives at homes Helped him get a good vehicle so he’s not in an endless upgrade cycle starting off.

Have funds for schooling for career development.

[Amy]

I have 2 young adult kids. One in college, one working and not making much (but out on her own).

I contribute what they earn up to 6500 to a Roth IRA every year.

[Alan]

Include gifts as part of the retirement plan as additional expenses. Then make sure the plan is well funded for your retirement.

[Rick]

The context is what matters.
He says die with zero because he is pushing back on die with everything left to inheritance.

This is one of the major issues today.

Inability to apply ideas away from the extremes they are purposefully attacking…to draw attention and eyeballs and clicks and retweets.

If you never intended to die with everything to then leave as an inheritance…. this book is at best suggestive.

You can help your kid buy a house. You can help your kid and their family visits you in a beautiful foreign country every year.

If you were never the polar opposite to begin with, the books ideals are just subtle nudges.

You don’t have to rethink your life because someone raged against the machine that…. wasn’t your life in the first place.

[Carolyn]

I cash flowed their college costs by working on increasing my income and decreasing my expenses.

[Ashley]

Remember the author is only 55 yrs old so hasn’t personally tested his own theory. And there has not exactly been an epidemic of people leaving way too much money when they die.

It’s a balance. If you are still actively contributing to your retirement then you aren’t there yet.

And since I paid for a plethora of extracurricular activities, college, and vacations I think I’ve contributed plenty.

Anything else is a bonus.

[Vinod]

Another way to help would be to give anything left from your budget that you didn’t spend during a given month/year.

Example if your yearly budget is 100K and due to whatever reason you spend say 85K in a given year you could give the remainder to your kids.

[Ernest]

I’ve considered various ways I might support my kids in their early to mid-adult years, but this will depend on how our financial situation evolves.

If the markets do well and our expenses are manageable, I hope to help them financially or invite them to travel with us or perhaps help fund education funds for their kids.

However, if things aren’t on track, we’ll adjust to ensure we can fully support ourselves as we age.

My priority isn’t giving them money, but ensuring I don’t rely on them later in life and burden them with caring for me.

My mother had to care for her parents, both physically and financially, and at times it was a heavy burden.

[Author]

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