[USER]

Dear fellow FIRE peeps – I’m struggling today and would love your advice/stories on how you got through those days of “feeling hopeless and in the trenches”.

I’m 33, single, work in sales, make around $150-160k annually, ~$120k left on my mortgage for a home valued around $350k, $90k in cash in a HYSA, and about $320k in various investments (including retirement plans).

I max out my HSA and 401k every year, invest an additional $1400/month, drive a 14 year old reliable car that I’ll keep until the wheels fall off, and ‘treat myself’ by traveling the world (currently at 54 countries visited).

I had a few major leadership changes at work over the last 6 months and it has been miserable.

I wake up dreading my day and feeling so unhappy.

I’ve applied for over 60 jobs in the past month (lateral roles, not promotions) with most being rejected or not receiving any response.

Also, I begin my MBA this autumn to help me with filling learning gaps and hopefully a possible career pivot.

Most of my cash saved up will be spent to pay for grad school so I can avoid the high (8-9% interest rates).

I know how blessed my life is and how grateful I should be (usually am) especially when there are so many others out there who work hard(er) than I do and don’t have as much privilege.

I feel like my friends/family aren’t being as responsible and living in a nicer area/home, have much newer vehicles, eat out all the time, etc.

while I’m following “the rules” and stress about saving while they’re being frivolous and enjoying life a lot more.

Lately I have felt that there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel of this responsibility (not in life – I’m not suicidal lol).

My target age for FIRE is 55, and I believe I can hit it but it’ll be a tough 22 years to get there!

When y’all were younger and felt similar – or are around my age and navigating through this sentiment as well, how do/did you get yourself through those periods?

[Curtis]

Curtis Goins
You have to have a balance, sounds like your burning yourself out big time ?

You have quite a bit invested for your age & just that growing alone will be worth several million even if you don’t add anything else which obviously you still are, take a vacation, hang with some friends, and slow down a bit and enjoy your life today…

[Debbi]

At 33, I didn’t watch retirement balances, I just contributed and it grew.

So keep doing what you’re doing and with average market returns, you should be fine.

[Mike]

I turned 33 in July. For me it’s the idea of poor vs broke(quote from somewhere).

Being poor is a mentality; thinking you will never get out of your situation of not having money.

While broke is temporary circumstance and circumstances can change.

[Bassel]

I would not worry do much about the others. Many people live great lifestyles, but are one paycheck away from financial ruin.

If you’re here you probably prefer to be wealthy than look wealthy.

But don’t completely deprive yourself along the way.

[Nom]

Downgraded my job to a very simple sales position. Put my energy into my finances.

More rewarding in every respect

[Laura]

I’ve felt like you before, and one thing that helped in a weird way was to have something really bad happen with my personal life, actually a few bad things.

When I was going through big stuff, my brain couldn’t focus on the drudgery or misery at work etc., because I just didn’t have spare energy to devote.

Many days I did less than my best and said it’s gonna have to be good enough and no one came and told me I sucked…

turns out I’m my worst critic by far.

I did also at one point change careers which was hard and scary but my husband believes it redirected my attention to getting good at this new thing and that I was happiest when potentially at the scariest/hardest time:

starting something new in late 30s, and that I will never be fully happy.

I think he’s mostly right and I use this to convince myself that if I’m gonna find problems with anything then might as well earn max pay potential while doing it.

I’ve been able to manufacture a bit of the same “got bigger problems to care” mindset, by finding a hobby I like so much I plan to spend the rest of my life getting good at it.

It is like a part time job, which can be its own grind at times, but by being heavily booked up, this forces me to just focus on what needs doing that day and that helps me forget temporarily that I gotta do this for many more years.

But then other days I sit there and try to figure out how many days or weeks or months I will be doing this for.

I’ll sit there and say “I only need to produce these slides 42 more times” or whatever.

So it’s not like I cured myself of this thinking, I spend plenty of time dwelling.

[Lisa]

Staying in a miserable job is soul crushing and I truly don’t believe in living like that long term.

Life is short and you are doing AMAZING with your finances.

Buying a fancier house or car will not make you happier.

People who spend frivolously look happy on the outside but long term they will be in financial disaster if they aren’t already.

Reaching FIRE at 55 is a great goal but not if you spend the next 22 dreading every day of your life.

Keep looking for jobs that will reduce your stress even if it means delaying FIRE.

What if you left this job or took a leave of absence and lived off savings while you get your MBA?

I don’t know how much that would affect your future prospects but it’s just a thought.

[Chris]

Keep sourcing other lateral moves or leads. Network utilize LinkedIn or other people.

Maybe contact a career coach and see how your skill set could pivot your career prior to your MBA.

Have you considered seeking a company that offers tuition reimbursement so they’ll cover your MBA? You’ve done great thus far.

Keep grinding it out and the right opportunity will present itself! Keep crushing it!!

[Steve]

While the goal is to retire at 55, I’d take that out of your plan. If it happens, it happens but too many different things change in life where it could happen before or after.

I definitely understand your concern about seeing what the jones have.

And sometimes it’s not about what they have but the feeling that they seem to worry about money less especially when you don’t have to as much.

As for life responsibilities, that’s not going to change, even if you’re retired.

You’ll think about money and be concerned about spending it like you are now.

Try to splurge a bit more. Not free spending but buy the extras you don’t normally…

[Rick]

You seem to ne doing really well. Don’t beat yourself up. You do need to enjoy yourself at all phases of life.

ntentionally splurge on some things that bring you joy and be frugal on the things that you are indifferent about.

Regarding your job and career…

the jib market seems to be really tough right now.

If you have job security, I might just suck it up and keep my head down until the job market improves.

There are times when it makes sense to just keep things steady.

[Gavina]

You are doing well and ahead of most. Have a dream or goal that will have greater impact on your life than the obstacles/distractions (such as travel) that come.

se Travel as a reward for hitting major FIRE goal

[Author]

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