[USER]

Question: how do you get ok with loosening the purse strings?
We splurged on a car, my spouse loves the car and we shopped around so much.

1.99% apr- half what our HYSA makes so we’re going to make monthly payments automatically from the car savings account vs paying it off.

Finances: Kids have college savings on auto draft and we passed our GI Bills to them, emergency savings is full.

2 rentals pay for themselves and we don’t touch that $$.

Plan is to move into one when we retire for the 1st 2 years and relax as we settle down then sell and move.

Retirement:
Estimating 2 military pensions: I’m at 18.5 years with ARNG (56 years old when pension starts) and the other has 14 years and active duty.

1 of us has VA disability permanent at 90% that isn’t in the budget- it get deposited into taxable accounts.

Also, government GS employee with 11 years.

Medical is covered or planned for both of us for life and the kids until they are done with school.

We max both roth IRAs and one TSP (by choice), that will fund any buffer needed between my spouse retiring active military and my guard retirement starting.

But, the math shows me that we’ll be making more in retirement than we spend now.

We are very frugal: meal plan, do allotments to “hide” our money from ourselves, car we replaced was 14 years old and maintenance was getting expensive.

We have the cash for the purchase specifically, we’ll be more than ok in retirement (early and otherwise).

So, how do I become ok with the shift from save to spend? Any stories from you all?

[Kristi]

Make a list of things that you would enjoy doing or having. I have 3 friends that died in their 50s over the past two years, so we have sped up our travel plans and are trying to live life more fully in our 50s and early 60s before we

cannot enjoy it as much later.

[Christina]

My parents saved all their lives and accumulated millions. They were looking forward to enjoying the fruits of their labor during retirement.

Both were diagnosed with cancer a short time into retirement and lost their strength, stamina, appetite and eventually interest in life.

They only spent a small portion of their fortune.

There was a trust in place and each of our share was large enough for generations to come, yet my siblings were still fighting over it.

This is not how I want my life to be, so it changed my perspective on how to spend my money for the remainder of my life, tomorrow is not guaranteed.

[Jenny]

Spend it with experience, im glad you are not shopaholic that would fill your house with stuff.

[Ellen]

I’m a natural saver and have always been anxious about spending money on myself.

Even though my savings goals are exceeded, I tend to hoard money anyway.

It’s like buying too much toilet paper before a big storm even when you have enough already.

I joined YNAB to learn how to spend money. I budget dollars for everything I need.

I can see, right there in front of me that everything is funded.

Then I assign the “leftovers” to fund activities I enjoy.

By knowing everything else is funded, I am much more comfortable with the more frivolous spending.

[Davese]

Die with Zero is an excellent read regarding your situation… while it’s not our goal …

(ours is to leave a legacy, financial with spiritual) it taught us a ton about loosening the purse strings…

enjoying travel, remodeling our yard, having a nice dinner out, parking at the airport rather then getting a ride….

It ok to do so..! Very different perspective from ours but was really good to read for us.

[Rick]

Watching my investments has helped me in many ways. One big one was it helped me to spend.

It would hurt my soul to spend $100 on a night at a brewery with friends, $300 on a hiking backpack, look at $600-800 flights to a country I would like to visit.

But watching my portfolio lose (and gain) at first a thousand dollars in a single trading day, then multiple thousands, then multiple tens of thousands, it began to dawn on me that my spending was a drop in the ocean.

And as Ramit Sethi says I knew I wouldn’t trip and spend $80k so I wasn’t worried that opening up on spending here and there for things I loved would just not turn me into a spending randomly monster.

It may be a weird way to shift spending but it worked for me.

[John]

Start little. Create a fun budget, create a movie budget, create a vacation budget.

It’s ok to use that money.

[Bill]

In general, if you are already living a middle class lifestyle, spending money on things isn’t going to make you happier.

So, toss that idea out the window and focus on what type of activities would make your life more enjoyable.

Is there something you hate doing that you can eliminate for a little $$.

Or things you love doing that you just don’t do often enough?

Are there services that you could spend on that would free up your time?

Experiment. Add or cut 1 thing at a time and see if it improves your life or if it’s just an extra expense.

It’s very personal and the things you love/hate may be completely different than anyone here suggests.

[Grant]

One of the arguments against FIRE movement is that you don’t have as much fun in your younger years because of all your saving and thriftyness.

So, spend some money as you will have pensions, GI bill for the kids and additional jobs.

[Jeremy]

Recommend visualizing your retirement in something like personal capital (or any tool – can even do your own).

Look at what all of those cash flows and savings you have add up to.

Look how short the time you have left is…

how few years you have left with kids who are young now but will be adults soon.

Start dropping in things you’d like to spend in…

you’ll probably see that it makes next to zero impact in your long term risk and retirement goals.

You’ve earned it, enjoy it!

[Tony]

Personally I recommend starting with your personal and financial end goals and then reverse-engineering the saving and investing benchmarks you need to meet to get there.

During your quarterly or yearly financial health check-ins you can see how you’re progressing toward your goals and you will likely find that you are well on track or ahead of your goals.

At that point, you can give yourself the permission you need to shift from needs to wants to make your journey toward retirement happier and more fulfilled.

The bottom line is that it’s hard to know unless you eliminate the uncertainty by creating end goals that you can aspire to and also periodically check in on your progress along the way.

[Tony]

I just keep doing the math and realize my numbers are still correct, and it’s time to spend.

I didn’t work three decades for the govt to not enjoy my retirement.

That, and you plan things out where you need to spend some money.

We bought an RV the day I retired, and we are on a 5 month road trip.

[Su]

Start some mini retirements at work, max out as many days off you can get even if they are without pay.

Slow into retirement, it is more enjoyable thar way. Go on frequent holidays.

[Travis]

Honestly why do you have to spend? There are plenty of other options including giving to a cause that you care about.

Another option is funding your kids Roth IRAs while they’re young.

That seems like an even better option than giving them a big inheritance.

Also I think your spending will grow organically as you find yourselves during retirement.

But I do like MMM’s mentality that we are already living so luxurious, why do we have to spend more and more.

He did go and buy a Tesla though….

[Author]

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