[Rebekah]

Hello all. I’m in need of advice/opinions. I’m a single mom, work full time and have my son’s whole life. (He’s 15) How do you “justify” (if that’s even the term I’m looking for) working sun up to sun down to pay off bills and not spending any time with your child?

I’m SO close to paying off my debt $13,000 left, (I’ve been hustling for almost 3 full years…..) but I’m missing so much, and now he’s an older teenager, I feel like being present and in the moment with him is important bc he’s gonna be gone soon – Any advice? Ty!

[Corey]

When you get to your deathbed, you are not going to say “I am so glad I worked more instead of spending time with my kid.” Go spend time with them, and find other ways to reduce cost.

It’s ok to go be a mom.

[Ashley]

Plan some kind of time..

But also think of what yoy CAN do with him when debt is paid off!

[Ashley]

I know this feeling— and was also a single mom. Yes, I worked a lot while my boy was growing up and still do, but I always tried to keep Sunday for church and family time.

I also stopped whatever I was doing, including work, if he needed me and I made the time for as many of his games and matches as possible.; I was exhausted! …he developed his own killer work ethic somewhere in the process. Hang in there, mama.

Remember, he’s watching you.

[Kay]

I would definitely plan and make time with your son!! At his age he could soon be on his on and this precious time will be gone.

Continue with your debt payoff but also take time with him.

[Tina]

Have one time in the week you spend time with him. Make sure you attend his school events.. What’s that going to do put you back a few months?

[Jenny]

You have a budget that you follow most likely. You most likely have a decent amount going to your debt because you are working so much. Do you have days off? Can you plan 1 day a week to focus on your son and yourself?

If not a week maybe a full day where it is about reconnecting with him every month and then at the beginning of the month (start 2ahead for the first one) make a calendar of important events that you should be available for or that he would like to see or do.

If you stay a month ahead it should be easier to plan with work. And maybe you don’t do all of them but making the effort to do many will help you feel less like you are missing out.

[Liz]

Mine are 18 and 20. In some ways, when they need us, they need us more so I get what you are saying. Rituals help.

Withing your current schedule can you have an early morning coffee date? An after dinner walk? Uninterrupted car talk time?

I find they talk the most then.

[Alex]

You’re actually doing a lot for him right now. He’s a young man watching his mom be awesome, working towards goals, and still making sure he’s good.

You don’t necessarily need to spend a lot of time with him, however, you should set some aside for those important things or for you to be able to take a break as well.

You’re also setting yourself up which is goal #1 from what I hear Dave say.

I wouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself. The time goes by quickly but so will that debt snowball!

Cut back hours every now and then when you make plans. Talk with him about stuff happening and maybe get him involved in the household stuff you’re doing if he isn’t already. Get him heavily involved in the budget, debts, income, and everything.

I don’t have any kids myself, but as a guy who grew up in homes with hard workers, it was beneficial to me for sure.

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