[Lee]

How much do folks give for wedding gifts? This is for a friend of the family. Hoping this generates some wide ranging answers and interesting discussion.

I’m curious about the general expectations or norms around wedding gift amounts.

Do people usually give a certain amount based on their relationship with the couple, the location of the wedding, or the size of the event?

For example, do close family members give more than friends or colleagues?

Also, do people tend to spend more if it’s a destination wedding or if it’s in an upscale venue?

I’m interested in hearing about different perspectives, especially from various cultures or regions, as I know customs can vary widely.

How much do you usually spend on a wedding gift, and what factors influence your decision?

[Richard]

I think you should at least give the per head amount of the venue you’re attending

[Erika]

Depends on the wedding! But in general I will overthink the registry and end up giving them a gift card $50 ish range.

[Skippy]

We have a pretty good idea what the going rate is for catering in our area. We do $100 more than what we think our combined meals cost.

Usually, $300-350.

If close friends or family we’ll do $500. Philly area.

[Lacey]

Personally, I’m kind of suprised at the suggestions here that guests sgould pay for the cost of the wedding. It seems greedy and a way to garner attention.

I know my kids will keep their weddings very small and expect virtually nothing.

My daughter who is married eloped.

Frankly that makes more sense to me than a big wedding that people feel obligated to attend and basically pay for.

[Mary]

Gifting like tipping has been elevated over the top. Give what you can afford to give. For some that is $50.

[Jaimie]

I personally wouldn’t even expect wedding gifts from guests unless they offered, and if they did give one, I wouldn’t care how much it cost!

so, my answer would be whatever you can comfortably afford

[Michael]

I always thought the rule of thumb was you pay for your plate. Minimum for me and my wife is $200.

If its a fancy place it can be $180 per person so $400 for my wife and I to go.

[Antoinette]

NY 30 years ago it was 250-500$, my kids tell me today, it’s 150$ (I’m assuming 1 person)

[John]

We give ~$300 or so when we attend as a couple, and a little bit more for family.

[Sharon]

I’ve always been told to cover your head count. I’ve always done 200-300ish which is standard in my friend group.

I don’t go to acquaintance weddings tho so this is for close friends.

My friend was saying how she was surprised how little people gave at her brother’s wedding. Might also be a cultural difference.

[Christina]

I gift $100-$150, if I bring is plus one then I gift $200-$300

[Audrey]

I haven’t been to a wedding in a while, but I’d be interested to see the geographic area of those that answer- in talking with friends, it seems to vary a lot depending on where those being wed are from.

[Rochelle]

For my wedding in Minnesota most of the gifts ranged between $25-100. Only our parents and one outlier guest who must have looked it up online gave more than that.

[Niloufer]

Although $75 to $100 per person attending is average, I would think the hosts/couple would value having their loved ones and friends with them on their big day.

Some may not be able to afford a larger monetary gift, but love the couple nonetheless.

Hope couples understand this when they plan/spend on their wedding.

[Brit]

$50 because my friends are getting married so young and I’m just a broke nurse

[Kris]

It used to be $100 per person a few years ago but after Covid it’s been $200/ person standard it seems like. Sooooooo expensive!!!!

Esp when you count the amount you spend traveling to the destination, hotels, car rentals, any showers or parties they may have beforehand etc.

I’m in CA

[Prava]

I haven’t been at many weddings. When we got married 2 years ago in a cidery in VA, most single people gave $25-$50.

I had some guests without any gifts.

Only my closest friends gave $100.

[Julie]

For destination weddings- I would give a lot less. Just from what I’ve read. It’s not customary to give anything as you’ve shelled out a decent chunk of change for travel

Local- depending on the area (I’m in Chicago) I have read to cover your plate and then add $ to your comfort.

Last wedding we attended was a co-worker. We gave $200.

[Amy]

I generally give between $100-$150 but also make a personalized gift along eith it that out of pocket costs $25-30.

Family is different, usually $500ish.

[T-l]

200-500 $ depends on how close we arrive with the bride and groom.

[Ludmila]

50-1000 where 1000 is parents, 500 siblings and bestman, 50 some far relative or non-friend collegue.

[Diane]

NY. NYers typically do big catering hall type weddings with open bar, full cocktail hour, dinner, dessert bars and more. Therefore, I’d think gifts would be higher than a wedding out of state with a cash bar.

It depends how close we are to the couple.

Typically $150-$250 per person. We got married 14 years ago and gifts ranged from $100pp to $500pp. With $150pp being the average gift.

We went to a wedding last year and gave $400 for two of us.

Really it should be what you can afford. If we couldn’t afford a nice gift, then likely just one of us would attend.

Also adding in NY you rarely see boxed gifts at weddings, mostly envelopes.

Boxed gifts are given at the bridal shower.

[Lacey]

We live no where near family so I haven’t actually attended a wedding in ages. I do send gifts to my neices and nephews from their registry.

I do try to make it something in the 150 range and something that if the marriage falls apart (bad family track record here) they are likely to keep.

For friends of family no more than 50.

I’m in a culture where weddings tend to be inexpensive affairs. No one would expect a pricy gift.

[Laura]

Yeah.. it kind of depends on where it is, and our financial situation has changed a lot over the last 7 years. 7 years ago when my husband was a student and me the breadwinner, maybe $50.

Now around $150-$200. But, if we have to fly across the country, rent cars, find stranger babysitters for our kids, etc.

I don’t go over $100 bc I’m selfishly bitter about the 3000$ we’ve dropped on attending the wedding

[Author]

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