[USER]

Need some advice! My fiance and I live together. We have had disagreements about how much of a contribution should be made towards living expenses.

My fiance makes about 90K a year I make about 500k. We currently live in a house in a beach community that I purchased a couple years ago and just completed an extensive remodel.

My fiance Will be contributing rent We are having a disagreement on how much should be contributed, my fiance will not retain any ownership of the property.

The expenses of the property is about 5K per month, I have paid for pretty much everything in the property and am responsible for repairs.

What would be a fair number that my fiance should contribute to living expenses (rent).

Normal rent in our area for one bedroom is about $1,900 per month this includes all expenses.

[Steve]

She should be paying full price of a rent, but living separately and not making plans for this union.

[Tara]

You make more than 5x what she makes. And she’s your FIANCE! Have her pay the cable bill.

Or groceries.
But you don’t charge your fiancé rent.

[Charlotte]

They should not pay any expenses towards the house if they will not have any sort of ownership and to be honest you might want to consider if a marriage is right for you.

Being married is a team effort.

[Jonathan]

Get married. Joint bank account. It is a partnership and no longer he/she but we…

our money, not your money. Traditional but works.

I make 6x what wife makes and never had separated account once married

[Susan]

They make 15% of what you make. So they should pay 15% of the cost. $750.

Why the heck would you charge your SOON TO BE SPOUSE rent.

That’s weirdddddd.

You need couples therapy to sort these things out before you get married.

[Stacey]

It should be based on a percentage – so about 20% of your expense, not what ‘rent’ goes for in your area.

If I was the 90k or 500k, each should pay a % of salary – or you’ll grow to resent one another.

[Roger]

Well honestly I would say 0…. You keep ownership and she shall pay you something to have the right to live with you in your house?

Strange approach to be honest…

if really you are such a …

Just grocery maybe.

[Danielle]

I think you should just let your fiancé go at this point. Seriously. Idk what the dynamic is in your relationship, whether you’re a dude or a lady or your fiancé either, but you OBVIOUSLY have no interest in taking care of them.

Imagine being the breadwinner and still asking for someone you intend to marry to pay rent…

[Chrissy]

You pay for the house, the fiance and you split everything else. The house is your sole asset.

Also, since you are playing the separate property game, you could go ahead and separate all of your assets in the future and do a prenup.

The fiance should not be contributing to your sole asset, and they should be allowed to make their own investments.

I don’t advise this approach at ALL, but this is what appears to be happening in your relationship so I would go ahead and make sure this is all formalized.

The house and remodel was your choice as your sole property.

I wouldn’t have the fiance paying rent at all.

[Hannah]

I’d suggest thinking hard about marriage if you’re thinking of charging your future wife “typical rent for the area” when you make 5x her salary…

and not thinking of her as an owner when you will be married.

[Sara]

You should pay all costs. Hopefully your disagreement is that your fiancée is insisting on paying more and you are insisting they don’t.

You make OVER 5 times as much as them…

AND they aren’t gaining anything from living there because you own the property AND you will probably have the person sign a prenup, so honestly, yeah…you can pay.

[Sara]

Just the utilities, that way neither of you have expenses and you get to keep the property fully yours if it doesn’t work out

[Valerie]

This is not the way to start a marriage. Keeping score is bad for relationships.

Super curious to know if the lower wage earner will be expected to do unpaid labor, like cleaning, carrying the mental load, keeping the extended family calendar, possibly bearing children or caring for them.

And if so, will you quantify and reimburse them for it?

You know, to keep everything fair.

[Olga]

Uhm, a bit of a weird question given that you make 5x the amount they make.

But since you asked, the only fair way is by percentages.

Say you each contribute 20% of your after tax income towards rent.

If you bring home 20k, then your share is 4k; if they bring home 5k, then their share is 1k.

[Jen]

Split other bills. Why should the fiance pay over half their income to buy a house for you when you make five times as much and they’ll not even have percentage ownership?

They should probably just buy their own home.

[Michelle]

Why are people saying “ why pay rent on a home that won’t be yours” ummm then why do people pay rent on a house or apartment if it will never be theirs????

At the end of the day— rent must be paid, whether it’s your property or not.

[Summer]

If I were your fiancé, I would run for the hills. I would rather be with a man who makes $50K and is willing to share everything with me as his future wife than with a man who makes $500K and thinks about charging me rent.

Ridiculous!

[Renee]

Are you in a state that is not a “community property” state? Which states allow you to entirely retain assets when you marry?

Or are you writing a prenup?

I think if the spouse isn’t going to have any ownership, then they should not be paying toward the house.

And since they make 1/5 of what you make, maybe they can just contribute 1/5 of the monthly total basic expenses (mortgage, food, electricity etc)

[Author]

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