[USER]

I’m not sure this post belongs in this Community but I’ve been following for years and I like this Community.

My husband and I both work and we have 3 children that live at home (2 teens and 1 young adult) The oldest has ongoing mental health issues.

My parents are aging and not well. I work part time, 4 days a week but I’m feeling extremely stressed and overwhelmed lately.

I also have health problems causing me daily chronic pain. Even though I think financially it would be better for me to continue the 4 days I was thinking about cutting down to 3 days for the summer(possibly longer) for my health and well being and also to be home for the kids more.

I am feeling very guilty for wanting to cut down on work but I’m feeling like it would be best.

Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.

[Sheila]

I think in order for you to personally function at your best level. You first have to be healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically. And if 1 day more absent from your job can offer you the benefits of strengthening your mental health. I say you need to make yourself a priority too.

Because it sounds as if you are like many other caretakers . They put themselves last. Think of it as making things better for yourself so you can be the best for them.

[Michelle]

Have a family meeting I know people don’t really do those anymore you said you have two teens and a young adult at home that’s struggling mentally which I think we all do at different points.

Just have dinner and dessert and just have everybody pitch in and ask what they think would work better because you mentioned you had I think both parents that are declining in health and then you’re struggling mentally along with your health taking a slight even if it’s just a small break cutting down to 3 days a week you might be surprised just a small tweak in what you have to do could be the biggest thing for you.

People need to think though as a parent what you do doesn’t just reflect on you or your kids so I say have a family meeting so everybody can pitch an ideas and you might be surprised.

[Joyce]

If you can, I would cut the hours, for your health and your entire family’s sake. Maybe strategize on cutting corners somewhere to make up the lost income.

[Christine]

If you feel overwhelmed with the 4 days, best to cut back to 3 for the summer so that you give yourself a short health and mental health break to recharge. Also make use of any off days or sick days that you earned at your job…it is worth taking a break for a bit and you will feel better with time. Try to save as much as u can and also see which extra luxuries u can cut back for about 4 months.

[Judy]

If you can possibly afford to do this by all means do. Self care is important. If we are ill we can’t do for our loved ones.

[Ellie]

As someone who almost worked myself to death at one point, take the day. Do NOT feel guilty. I was a single mom, zero help from anyone except my dad, I managed multiple restaraunts and went to college full time. Then my dad died unexpectedly. I went back to my same schedule. I was sleeping like 3 hours a night to have time to study. I ended up in the hospital for a week with pneumonia and other issues. After that I actually went BACK to that same schedule, didn’t learn my lesson. Finished college and after that decided I will never ever do that again.

I screwed up a lot of things by doing all of that and never being able to take the time to grieve…I worked and took a final exam the day after my dad died. After all of that I will never put anything above my health again. Take the day. Do not feel guilty.

[Judy]

You can’t pour from an empty glass. You need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family. You might find that you have more time and desire to cook from scratch, watch sales, etc and end up saving more money by being home.

[Connie]

I had chronic illness to strike me at the age of 43! I forced myself to continue working for 3 more years. I was very sick for over a decade. Though I have recovered to a GREAT extent, I am not where I was… and I never will be. It has been 13 yrs and I have aged. We have one life. You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. Cut back and get your rest… I had to quit working… I sure would have LOVED to have made my salary all those years.. but there were days I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other and I’d languish in the bed 18 hours a day… then taking a shower would tire me out so badly that I’d have to lay down to rest before I could get dressed. I’d cry because I didn’t have the energy to stand at the stove and cook or stand at the sink and wash dishes. I wasn’t able to walk across my own yard.

I couldn’t walk through the grocery store without needing to sit down. I tell you all of this to say…. Take care of yourself… no one else knows how you feel or what you go through better than you do!

[Author]

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