[USER]

I bought a house a few years ago in a town a few hours away from my family.

I thought it was close enough but my parents can no longer drive here.

Now I plan to have kids and suddenly I have an itch to get closer to my parents (within 30 minutes – 1 hour).

I have older parents and I just don’t think it’s going to be possible for me to manage raising kids, visiting my parents, working a corporate job, etc. a few hours away.

I feel like 30 minutes away is more manageable and enjoyable. e.g.

they can come over, I can go over more regularly – is going to be worth the investment.

Currently childless but plan to have a few children.

Housing is more expensive near my parents – maybe by about 100k more.

Has anyone moved closer to parents?

Was it worth it? We have good relationships – I guess I feel crazy moving just a few years later…

[Kevin]

We were ~60 minutes depending on traffic. Loved the house, area etc but ended up moving <10 mins from each grandparent.

House was ~2x more than our previous.

Absolutely worth it. ‘new’ house was on the way from my dad’s work to his house and so he was able to stop by frequently to visit our kiddo, he helped babysit my other kiddo when we didn’t have care lined up, my mom regularly visits and vice versa due to the short distance.

Grandparents have a better life with grandkids, grandkids get to have more experiences with grandparents.

[Sandra]

30 minutes to an hour is still far if you want help. I have a friend who lived a half hour from her grandkids and ended up moving closer, basically within a few minutes from the grandkids.

Would your parents be willing to move?

[Nissa]

It’s 100% worth it. We have never lived very close to our parents as adults (3-6 hours away) and while we have excellent relationships with them and they have been wonderful grandparents it was not ideal.

Now that our child is grown I can 100% say that if needed I’d move to be near her when she starts a family because I want her to be supported and surrounded in a way that we just weren’t.

[Deborah]

Would your parents be interested in moving closer to you?
They may have thought you wanted your space.

We have kids in college, but we are hoping to move close to them once they settle

[Chauncey]

Can you buy a house with an ADU and then your parents can live on the same property?

They can rent their house out and move into the ADU?

[Sarah]

I live an hour away from my parent. It’s close enough to visit but it is tough to go more than once a week, and when the kids’ schedules get busy it tends to be more like once a month, bc it does take up most of the day to get there, visit, and get back.

Also, now that driving is getting a bit harder with parent’s age, it’s a bit too far for them to come to me unless the weather and timing is ideal (not dark, not rush hour, etc.).

If your move is primarily to get closer to your parents, I’d aim for within 30 minutes.

Whether the extra $100k is feasible with your budget is another question…

(Around me the pricier towns do tend to have better schools, so if you’re thinking kids keep that in mind too.)

[Jessica]

If you have kids and your parents are willing to help, being close is well worth it!

[Caro]

Yes I moved closer to my parents before I had kids also because my mom has MS.

They were 7 minutes away which was perfect.

Then she became a wheelchair user and we found a house 30 minutes away that better suited their needs.

It still adds up to an hr round trip which is still notable… my in laws live 13 mins away which is better.

IMO 10 minutes is the sweet spot.

[Maddison]

As your parents age they may want a smaller home with no stairs, maybe it would be better if they moved closer to you.

I think it’s something you should discuss with them.

[Sheila]

I’m envious of all the families that got help from family. I would have an honest conversation about what their true intentions are as being grandparents – whether they are willing to help out with kids if they are physically able to, if they plan on driving to see you if you move closer, etc.

Some grandparents are very honest about not waiting to help, others say they will help but when the time comes, they don’t and the grandparents that are very involved.

Multigenerational living has become even more popular by us so maybe that’s an option if you are concerned with their health.

[Jeannie]

I cannot speak to the financial aspect of this because I don’t know your entire situation.

But I can tell you I was so incredibly happy when my dad moved 15 minutes away from me.

Our relationship in those last six years was so wonderful.

So great that he could come over and watch a football game and then be back home for supper.

[Kaj]

We are 18 minutes from my in-laws & visit almost every day. We call them if we are not coming over.

[Carly]

If your parents are willing (excited?) to help with kids, get even closer than half hour drive.

My grandma died last summer and the reality of the amount of time she helped me with my kids is stunning.

She lived 5 minutes from me.

My parents live 20 minutes and they are more than willing to help (and do, often) but it’s definitely not the same as 5 minutes.

[Rosemarie]

If your parents are older I would seriously consider you work out how to be even closer than 30 minutes.

Maybe you can move very near to them or you can both move somewhere close together that still works for both families.

They will eventually need help/care and it’s a huge help to be very close by when that happens – and it could happen anytime.

Talk to your parents, make be they can help?

[Trisha]

It’s ALWAYS worth it regardless of whether we realize it or not. If will create a greater bond, give you support, allow them to see their grandchildren and allow you to be active in their lives as they continue to age.

You won’t regret it and it is well worth the 100K.

I wish you the absolute best!

[Kim]

Your parents will be aging. They might move into something smaller themselves depending on their age?

I would focus on school districts nearest your parents but again they might not stay long term.

Have you had this conversation with them?

[Author]

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