[USER]

I’m burned out and would love to be a SAHM for awhile before our kids get too big.

But that means

1) removing my retirement contributions.

2) cutting our HHI from $475k —> $200k.

I know the conventional wisdom is to not include a future inheritance and SS, and I haven’t.

But, my parents have a real estate portfolio of ~$3.5-4m (today’s value) that grosses somewhere between $12-14k a month.

My sister and I will split it eventually… they’re in their mid 60s with hopefully many years left (great physical and mental condition).

Without this, husband and I are on track to FIRE in about 10-12 years, maybe less.

(About age 48-50). Husband doesn’t even really want to retire early… I’m the burned out one, tbh.

If we include SS @ 65, and this real estate portfolio, our calculations change significantly.

Wwyd?

[Laura]

I have grown children and I have no regrets for the loss of my income. I’m so glad I had those at home years now that they are living their own lives.

I’m back to full time work and am the breadwinner now that my husband had closed his plumbing business.

He kept us going during those years.

Now I do.

[Natalie]

Your kids are only young once. If you want to spend more time with them, now’s the time to do it.

[Zack]

Discuss the lifestyle change with spouse and do it if you both are on board.

My wife and I both retired at 40 (military careers).

I still work because I enjoy it, need something to do and the money is good.

She is now our “household manger”.

She seems to enjoy it and is what she wanted to do at this point in our lives.

You can always go back if you find it’s not your cup of tea.

Being a SAHP is a full time gig in itself.

[Shana]

id do it for sure. imagine a family making 50k. and somehow they get by.

live with less.

but you’ll never get the time back with them little.

[Monique]

Find more flexible work and do both. Maybe go part one for awhile or take a hiatus for a year.

Do not include inheritance, you don’t know the ins and outs of your parents finances nor what could happen in the next 20-30 years or more.

[Trina]

I’m not a great example of fire, but I definitely say to do it if it’s on your heart, you can afford it, and you want to try it.

You will never get these years back.

I’ve been a sahm for 13 years now. (We have 6 kids.).

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

[Heath]

Does the nature of your work allow you to work from home (even if it’s with a different company)?

Even if you take a salary cut, that might give you a happy medium between the two: you get more time with your kids, but you also still have some of your income coming in.

[Aislinn]

I’d approach this as a mental health question first and foremost. I just was accidentally home full time parenting for a month and I’m so much more tired

[Jenny]

Can you take a sabbatical from your job? Or go part time? Is it possible to live on one income?

Granted people live on a lot less.

But you have a certain way of life, you will have to make adjustments.

Maybe the burnout can be dealt with incrementally by going part time, or delegating some things or lowering expectations on others.

Carving out “me time “ and connecting with friends

[Adena]

I think it’s ok to include inheritance as long as you are ok without it.

I’m in a similar place (tho no where near as big of a potential inheritance but it’s something) and taking the time assuming we will get something in ~30 years.

I want this time w my kiddos.

[Audrey]

Assuming you can meet expenses on the 200k income and your husband is on board, go for it.

Open a spousal IRA and contribute there.

Also, see if you can do something very part time to keep your skills fresh.

The motherhood penalty is very real.

[Ira]

Do you live in a high cost of living area with high expenses?
If not, then at $200K you should do great.

You can get a part job while the kids are at school (so 20-30 hours) if you feel like you absolutely need it.

[Joy]

I’m not a fan of including inheritance in your calculation on when to retire.

So much can happen.

And if your parents need long term care, that can get wiped out very quickly.

My husband is going to inherit millions.

We’ve never included it in our calculation.

I do think if you can swing it and take a few years off to get with the kids, it’s money and time well spent.

[Sarah]

You really shouldn’t include future inheritance as a possibility. They may have significant medical issues that drain all of their resources.

I would recommend taking more vacations, and even taking some unpaid time off when you are able to help with the burn out, and maybe even talk to a career counselor.

It’s possible you just aren’t enjoying what you are doing and it isn’t fulfilling.

I switched course in my career about 2 years ago, and I’m so glad I did!

I couldn’t stop thinking about retirement prior to that.

[John]

Can you downscale to part-time, giving you more time for your kids but still some extra income?

[Ashley]

Take the time off. Keep your skills current and volunteer where possible to fill your resume and cover the gap.

Honestly with one parent at home it eases household management and retiring at 50 may not seem so necessary.

You can always go back to work if you change your mind.

[Author]

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