[USER]

My husband recently brought up the idea of buying a larger home as a 5-year plan. We currently have a paid-off house, that we paid off a year ago.

His reason for moving is that we currently have 3 children ages 3-8, and the bedrooms are small, and our older two probably won’t always prefer to share a full-size bed and it will be hard to fit two twin beds in the room.

The full-size bed was their choice. My youngest’s room was a guest room/nursery, which only contained a pack n’ play and a full-size bed, we try to live minimally.

As the youngest got bigger they asked for his room and gave him their room which had bunk beds.

They would rotate sharing the top and lower bed, so the full size gave them more room.

Well, a little over a week after this initial discussion I discovered that I’m expecting again, which was a complete surprise because I thought we were done, but hey, we are Catholic and we actually originally planned to have a larger family than we do now.

Now my husband has already started looking at houses online and has found one that seems to check all the boxes we would have.

I told him that I can’t see a house unless we really feel this is the right move. We have money, but will still have to take on a mortgage to get a new house.

I’m torn on this idea because I feel like I’m still in shock with discovering I’m pregnant and it just seems like a lot of change at once.

In my mind, babies don’t take up that much space wait and save more money, but our problem this time will be that our master can only fit a bassinet (same deal for our last baby), and then we will have to move baby into my 3-year-old’s room vs a room on his/her own.

With the small rooms, the room will get very cramped, but it is doable.

My husband’s plan would be that we put roughly just under a 3rd of the cost as a down payment, move, and sell our current home.

We will replenish our account for what we put as the downpayment, save money for taxes, and put another 1/3 towards the mortgage, and recast the mortgage to get a comfortable payment that would still allow my husband to retire early.

Do you think you would look into moving now or wait until the baby is here when prices might be cheaper or rates might be lower, but they might be higher, we don’t know?

The house is beautiful, but at the same time so is not having a mortgage.

[Laura]

I wait until a year postpartum to make any decisions because HORMONES I had 4 kids in 5 years after almost 9 years of infertility (also Catholic here), including one set of twins and we are on a giant floor bed in our room.

We keep babies in a mini crib in our bedroom for the 1st year then they transition into our bed.

Our kids are 5.5, almost 3, almost 3, and just-turned-1 and none of them have their own rooms yet.

They really don’t need a ton of space.

If you have space on your property for an addition I’d consider that versus selling and buying.

Or maybe you could buy but then rent out your current place (but don’t rush into that either).

Lots of discernment for this season and congratulations on the new addition to your family!

[Shannon]

Can you reconfigure walls to make rooms better suited to your needs? Might entail hiring plumber and electrician but someone who can reimagine your space would be a lot cheaper than an addition or moving

[Karah]

It sounds like you know you need more space and you can’t adapt or add on where you are to meet what you need. So, then the only question is timing. Set your budget and start looking.

You don’t have to rush, do it when you find the right place and the right price.

Sure, rates might go down a little in the next year but that will probably go along with costs going up a little.

You can always refi when the rates drop, so why not start looking now? Congrats and good luck!

[Elle]

Your husband seems to be the one pushing this… maybe his work from laundry room situation is simply too much to shoulder.

Maybe middle ground. Don’t add on to the house. Don’t move.
Consider a detached building, larger shed?

They have many styles made of various materials. Small building shells that can be finished a little at a time per the needs and wants of you and your husband.

A window unit – that heats and cools is fairly inexpensive. Drywall or wall finishing materials is still cheaper to do than an addition would be.

Even if you mess up the first ten pieces… and have to rebuy or redo. It’s still way less expensive than an addition or moving.

[张扬]

It it were me, the only things that would keep me from moving are 1) it’s against my values/goals (your family will have to determine that), or 2) it’s financially irresponsible to do so (doesn’t sound like it’s case given what you’ve provided).

Do you have another purpose for your money if it’s not to improve the quality of your family’s life?

You haven’t mentioned anything such as “we want to quit work in X number of years in order to do Y”, or “we’re saving up for Z”. Don’t be a mindless saver who serves your money rather than the other way around.

Also, debt is a just tool. As long as you’re responsible and won’t do anything dumb like over leveraging yourselves with more house than you want & can financially handle, then I wouldn’t be so against the idea only because of an emotional revulsion to the word.

I’d buy the house, and make sure you have enough emergency savings and disability/life insurance in case you experience an event that derails your income.

[Monique]

I try not to make major life changes/choices while pregnant because my brain has been hijacked basically lol.

I’m about have have our 4th. We decided before this one that we wanted significantly downsize our house so we could be completely debt free and basically retire ourselves.

For us less room and less stuff has been the best decision but that is our lifestyle choice.

Even when we had the room, our kids shared rooms. The bond that helps foster between them is worth it alone.

[Rebecca]

Any chance of an addition on the home you currently have? Cost difference between larger new home and reno on this one?

[Carolyn]

Marry the house, date the rate.
As the mom of 4 (currently ages 6-16) I moved when my youngest was 3 months (oldest was then 9) we moved 3/4 of a mile stayed in the same area – just a different bus stop for the same school bus.

We thought that house would be a better fit for us but it lacked storage space- even if you try to live minimally you need storage for “stuff.” That house didn’t have a basement, attic or garage or even a full laundry or utility room.

Think about accessible/usable storage and not just bedrooms/room size. With 4 kids you need space to store handmedowns!

I was constantly purging items and dropping stuff off to donate/consign as there was very little easily accessible storage in that house.

It was also very open floor plan which was awful during Covid!. We moved again 3 yrs after that during Covid when my kids were then 3, 5, 10 and 12.

Now we have a finished attic, basement, garage, mud room, and several hallway closets for storage and lots of walls & doors which are helpful in a house for a family of 6.

Our 2 sons choose to share a room fwiw but their room has enough space for there to be 2 twin beds, plus a dresser and chest of drawers.

It would probably be easier to move before having a 4th kid.
Good luck!

[Ashlee]

We’ve moved twice while pregnant and it was a lot of work but I think it’s easier to move now than when you have a baby, personally.
As to whether you guys need a bigger home, you need to decide.

Another option is that our third baby ended up sleeping in a pack n play in living room for several months and he actually liked that better than the bassinet in our bedroom.

He slept around the older kids playing a lot and now sleeps better than our oldest two.

He moved from there to a crib in our room around 5 months and then didn’t move out of our room til he was 15 month.

Would a mini crib fit in your room?

They are bigger than a bassinet but smaller than a typical crib. Or the pack n play option.

[Frank]

Move.
And get rid of this unhelpful fixation that “not having a mortgage” is some kind of requirement in financial life, particularly with a young family.

Sounds like a Dave Ramsey stupidity that prevents people from actually investing because they are obsessed with mortgage debt.

You are not a financial baby, so get out of that high chair.

[Nancy]

I only have two. Their bedrooms are awkward shaped and small, considering the size of the house. Adding on doesn’t make
Sense.

They are now upper teenagers and we all

Struggle with them having personal items and enough room. To upgrade the bed size for the ever growing boy or not.

I’m not anti-moving for comfortable bedrooms for kids. Yes, many do well
Sharing forever but some don’t.

It was already the plan – so does baby really change it?!??

[Nina]

I have very recently found a lot of freedom in asking myself, “What if you just do what you want, even if it doesn’t make the most sense on paper” and then trying to listen to my desires more than my head.

Maybe that would be a freeing question for you too.

Sometimes we’re so busy trying to do the “right” thing we forget that life is to be enjoyed too.

[Jule]

I’d move based on the family needs to mention. It doesn’t sound as financially it will not be a huge sacrifice since you are planning on retiring early.

It’s a balance today’s needs with future plans and I think you have it under control.

I don’t think the rates will be much different in a year nor the home prices.

Do you really want to move with a newborn and three kids?

Go for it now. Get the kids excited about their new sibling and their new bedrooms.

[Liz]

Mom of 4- I vote move now. My oldest is 12 and youngest is 3, we just moved last May. I truly never thought we would need to leave our old house until about 2 years ago.

We also try to live as minimally as possible (though not always successfully, lol) but for us the reality was that as kids got bigger so did all the stuff- clothes are bigger, shoes are bigger.

They eat more food, they don’t all fit on the couch at once. All kids of things that just made everything feel very crowded.

From a money perspective, the new mortgage is higher but I have no regrets.

For one because we’re also building equity faster – our current house is higher value than our previous, so if it appreciates the same % value we actually gain more equity.

Plus, even in the time since we bought just last May prices have gone up and rates haven’t dropped.

I would buy now bc I don’t see any reason for home values to fall until supply catches up with demand which in most places will be awhile.

Plus, if prices drop you’ll get less on your sale as well.

[Amber]

It’s going to be better to get a bigger house. Depending on finances, of course but these kids turn into teenagers really fast. Trust me.

[Author]

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