[USER]

38M & 33F Looking for some feedback. We have two very young kids)
I work a stressful mid-level Manager IT job that has me working pretty much 5am-5pm everyday and occasional evenings and weekends if there are system issues.

Total Comp is 215k Base + variable bonus of 25-35%. Benefits are amazing. unlimited 401k Match, no premiums.

My partner makes 130k. Combined we are 400k per annum, pretax.

Our retirement and brokerages are netting at 1.45M now (1.1M in retirement accounts and 350k scattered between brokerages and HYSA, TreasuryDirect, etc).

Real estate equity is “600k” in a VHCOL home with 950k left on the mortgage. (Appreciated 300k, unrealized). I do not count this 600k equity towards my FIRE number.

Keeping the real estate numbers aside, I am budgeting our FIRE number to be 3M (to be able to pull 120k per year without issue given the 4% rule), and can be achieved by 2030 in our current trajectory.

We were thinking to grind out hard for the next 5 years and stop working around 2029 and/or pivoting to BaristaFIRE.

We think that the most precious years being with the kids will be now until they are 12.

the clock is ticking and we have 10 years left before they’re gonna want to grow out and do their own thing.

My question is, is there anyone like me in a very stressful job established halfway in their careers, who’s looking to maybe do something else, but you fear that salaries cannot be matched up at other companies?

I am very worried about burning out, but I’ve been grinding so hard since 2008 that I don’t know what to do.

I was thinking to go pivot to a government job, grind out 5 years, get their pensions, then relax.

some comparable jobs pay 144low-170-200k max, and I know gov’t jobs won’t have a large bonus, (expect 5k).

Alternatively. if the S&p500 hits 12k tomorrow, I’m going to thank all of the hard working Americans and American companies that have brought us to this very point and take a break.

We work fucking hard and I’m just looking to see if anyone has this same weird mid-career problem.

TLDR: Stressed in a high paying job, wants to FIRE in 5 years to spend more time with kids, should I pivot to a lower stress, lower paying Individual Contributor or Gov’t Job?

[Christina]

I was so burnt out at my previous job that I took a year off and didn’t work at all. I had plenty of money saved so it wasn’t a problem.

I ended up getting a government job but non-management bc I didn’t want the stress.

So, it was initially a paycut but I really just needed a less stressful job. Best decision I ever made.

[Dawn]

There’s no harm in interviewing and seeing what else is out there. If you find something that will give you a better work life balance, why not take it?

There’s no point in grinding this hard when you don’t especially need the money.

Also, my kids are 12, and I’m loving the time I get to spend with them.

Yes, their friends are more important, but I still get to drive them all around town, buy them Starbucks, watch their volleyball games, and host all their friends at my house for sleepovers every weekend.

I think I have a few more years left of this….

[Noa]

I’m not sure I understand… If you have kids already and your goal is to spend time with them, why grind harder now.

Does grind hard mean keeping your current job or doing something more?

I definitely wouldn’t take on anything additional. Look into FlamingoFI maybe.

I was going to say you are overfunding retirement but that unlimited match is def something to take advantage of.

Our oldest is 7 and is already starting to show more interest in playing with friends than with us.

If you push hard for 5 years, you may miss many good years. Now the trick is to find balance and enjoy the ride. You’ve done amazing!

[Kristyn]

Just a perspective separate from the burnout question, and it may not hold true for everybody’s experience. But I personally found the easiest time to work more was when my kids were daycare and preschool age.

Once they hit school, there were so many more school activities/extracurriculars to get them to/to be at to watch, and just days off from school to want to be home with them.

And they were just more aware of when I was working as they got older.

My kids didn’t even realize some moms stayed home until they went to kindergarten and met them.

And that’s not even considering the fact that big kids and definitely teens can have bigger problems, and being home more then is a big plus!

[Author]

Posts