[USER]

My wife and I just learned that we’re going to have a baby next year and I’m just dropping here to ask questions/guidance from other parents that’s pursuing FI.

A little background:
We’re both in our early 30s (31 and 33 y/o) and we reside in California.

Gross household income of about $200k annually (I make ~$120k and my wife ~$80k)

Combined net worth of about $500k ($350k in investment and $150k liquid cash that mainly sits in our HYSA); plus ~$100k in home equity

1. For our CA residents, is there a hack when it comes to maternity leave?

I’d love to give my wife all the time that she needs to recover after giving birth and potentially even retiring her so that she can stay at home with the new born.

2. What are some account that I should be looking into opening for our kid?

3. As we’re creating our registry, do you have any regrets and must have items for new born?

4. For our dads, did you feel some type of anxiety? Any advise for new dads?

I think that’s it for now and I really appreciate everyones feedback.

Thank you.

[Emily]

Hi! I currently have a three week old and am in the thick of it! I am a few years older than you both, but similar financial situations.
Honestly, you don’t need much!

Baby came a month early so we didn’t feel super ready, but we had most everything we needed from a baby shower.

We also have friends with babies who were super kind to bring over things they didn’t need.

1. She should get SDI – at 36 weeks, then 6 weeks after delivery. This is by no means enough.

If she has a good midwife/MD then she should be able to extend for a while. Then she will have 8 weeks of paid family leave.

I am hoping to take off five months before going back to part time.

My husband is a business owner and didn’t get any paternity leave so baby is entirely dependent on me.

3. Frida post partum kit, nipple pads, nipple cream, food gift cards or frozen meals… take good care of mama because she’s the only one who can really take care of the baby at this point.

Diapers and wipes. Gloves or Jammie’s/swaddles that cover the babies nails (first few nights our son scratched his face so badly with long baby nails).

Hatch sound machine/night light is great for late night feedings.

My breast friend pillow made a huge difference in getting my son to latch.

And our friends brought us over a nice bassinet — it’s great bc we have dogs so it puts him in a safe space if I need to shower or something. Oh! And a carrier!

A ring sling or something else for an infant. One of the only ways he calms down.

Hope that helps!

[Ashley]

3–we have a 13.5 month old so I feel experienced in this area as I’m still there but not.

Product regret—a fancy, made with better materials than Graco, pack n play, it was too deep and I’m short and would nearly drop him trying to put him in it. It was ridiculous. I’m 5’5”.

Seriously get the Graco pack n play with the bassinet insert, even if you don’t use it at home, it’s helpful for when baby naps elsewhere.

MUST HAVE—Hope & Plum Lark baby carrier. It’s expensive and I cannot live without it.

I used it today to go out & about in a place that a stroller wasn’t the best option.

If you want to DM me, I can totally send you our registry.

I have updated it as we’ve gone along and deleted the things I didn’t use, and added the must haves we used but didn’t register for.

I’m the first of a chunk of my friends to have a kid so I’m kind of keeping it as a reference guide because they told me to

[Allie]

Understand that influencers heavily dictate what is considered the “best” baby products.

We went with Graco and have zero regrets about skipping the car seat stroller darling of the moment.

Coupon for diapers and personal care items now at CVS. (Pampers also has a rebate app). I just got a pack of diapers for .74 today instead of $14.99 with coupons.

Even if you intend to breastfeed, research formula and know which ones you would be willing to use.

And budget for it. 80% of mothers end up at least combo feeding.

But we encourage breast feeding so much that I didn’t even consider that I might not breast feed.

Skip the baby breza if you do decide on formula.
Also buy nothing is your friend.

[Jessica]

2) A 529 once your baby has a social security number. Since my kids were babies, I asked family members to give cash gifts towards their college funds instead of toys.

3) Must-haves: baby carrier, car seat, stroller, Sophie the Giraffe, Velcro swaddle blankets, bouncer

Not necessary: wipes warmer, changing table, nursery chair

[Amelia]

She can get state disability through EDD (assuming she’s paid into it- almost everyone except teachers and some state employees do) and she will get 60% of pretax pay as early as 36wks pregnant with no other diagnosis (or earlier if there is another diagnosis) THEN 6wks postpartum (8for c-section) then 8wks paid family leave whenever disability ends which is also 60% pay (you can also take 8weeks paid family leave).

If for any reason disability is extended postpartum like for complications or depression/anxiety don’t start PFL until disability is over

[Stephen]

.for no 1, there is up to 5 weeks of disability leave that you can file for that extends your maternity leave for your wife.

You have to declare your expected delivery date in advance with CA EDD and your hr dept. But you forfeit any time if you deliver early.

[Jeremy]

She can file for FMLA which would protect her job for 3 months, but you won’t get paid for it.

[Chase]

We have a 3 month old and kept our baby purchases to a minimum. Must haves for us are:

– Esembly cloth diapers. They’re a lot easier to wash consistently than I anticipated and are much nicer to use than disposables.

We’ve also never experienced a blowout with them (yet!).

– some sort of baby carrier. I love my ring sling and was gifted a couple different types of structured/ stretchy carriers.

I would *not* buy this before baby comes though because there’s a business called Little Zen One that has a free try before you buy program.

Instead of spending money on a carrier you might not like, I’d try one of the carriers from them and purchase it if you like it. You get 15% off the carrier if you do it this way too.

– car seat and stroller are obviously a must have too! For us it was important that the car seat was flame retardant free because we prefer less toxins/ chemicals in our lives if we can help it.

We went with a Chicco OneFit ClearTex.

– Lovevery play gym and play kits. It’s nice to have toys that are developmentally appropriate for baby without having a ton of clutter.

It’s also nice to have ideas of what to do with them and these kits keep it simple!

Something we didn’t get and I’m glad we didn’t is a swaddle of any type. Since it suppresses the Moro reflex, it makes it take longer for the reflex to integrate.

The less you swaddle, the sooner it can integrate and the sooner babe can get deeper sleep.

Bonus is you don’t have to try to get them used to sleeping without it when they start to get more mobile.

Like others have mentioned though, join the Buy Nothing groups on Facebook, we got a ton of stuff for our baby through our group including baby wraps, gates, clothes, a bouncer, etc.

Besides that, babies are pretty simple and don’t need much imo.

We had a bassinet and used it for a couple of weeks then started bed sharing following the safe sleep 7 so now it just sits.

We don’t use soap or anything on him yet because he’s not getting dirty.

Most of the time he just hangs out in a diaper because we also live in California and it’s hot.

A lot of stuff we thought we needed, we’ve hardly used and I kinda just wish we would have waited to get a lot of this stuff until after he was born if I’m being honest!

[Author]

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