[Robert]

My wife and I have begun discussing having children, im honestly not even sure where to start.

I’m definitely overlooking things, what major expenses should we be taking into account from conception to 5 years?

Edit:

Just for fun I suppose ill divulge a little more about our situation.

We have something of a unique marriage, my wife is not American & we split our time between the U.S. & the Philippines.

Weve talked about it many times but after all your wonderful feedback we may end up starting/raising our family abroad.

Many of these expenses can be entirely eliminated or like 90% reduced.

The one thing that does come to mind however would be education, if we do live there (Ph) some sort of online/ home schooling would be desired.

Does anyone have experience w such a thing?

We’d likely spend the bulk of our time there but would travel back and forth on ocassion.

[Candice]

Childcare. And if you need a new vehicle.
Otherwise they are way less expensive than you think.

[Jennifer]

I can tell you how babies are made if needed. That’s the perfect place to start.

But yes, figuring out childcare, stay at home parent or working, is the biggest financial expense.

Breastfeeding is sooooo much more affordable than formula if you can do it.

We weren’t able for medical reasons but I wish I could’ve.

[Laura]

If you can live in Manila, you should check out Brent International School or ISM (International School of Manila).

They’re both great schools and your kiddo(s) will be educated with a global outlook instead of the close-minded attitudes that are so prevalent here in the US.

Also, domestic help is much more affordable in the Philippines than in the US.

You’ll save so much money on childcare if you avoid the States in their early years.

Healthcare in Manila is decent but Hong Kong and Bangkok are short flights if you need different care.

I like Bumrungrad hospital in Bangkok for their expat wellness packages and OT&P clinic in HK is very good for pediatric care.

[Vanae]

I imagine childcare (daycare or babysitter) will be more affordable in PH.

I would start researching what the avg cost is there so you can factor those costs in.

If you spend most of the year there then you should be able to save a lot since cost of living is lower

[Doug]

It’s not that bad. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but outside of making sure you’re not in a position of abject poverty I don’t think financial concerns should be that big of a factor in having kids.

You’ll just figure it out.

Childcare, maybe maxing out health insurance deductibles the year they’re born, and a slightly higher grocery bill.

If you both want to have a kid and you’re responsible loving people, just go for it.

It’s awesome

[Earl]

Hiii! I grew up in the Philippines (born and raised there) and would vouch for the education!

If you want the traditional school system.

Private schools are also “affordable” if you earn in USD.

If you strictly stick to homeschooling, you can buy your curriculum online and just teach it over there.

Since your wife is Filipino, I’m sure she knows that it is also affordable to get a nanny for childcare.

I wish you all the best! That is my FI dream, to live maybe half a year or more in the Philippines and come back to the US for a travel assignment to keep my license.

[Kate]

No matter how much you plan there is always the unexpected

[RubyExima]

I was a stay home mom (with a remote pt job) homebirth, cloth diapered, blw (for food), joined swaps groups for clothes. Unschooler.

My expenses were minimal.

But…. this is something I hope you share with your wife, as I’m also not from here.

Things went wrong and I’m facing divorce.

My American husband used all his power to make me comeback to the US (we lived abroad lean FIRE) and now I have to work ft, and live in a place I don’t like.

A judge mandated kids are raised here and my perfect life became a nightmare and they are not allowed to travel and see friends and family.

So…. if you guys move to PH, I hope you both do a written agreement were no one gets screwed if things don’t go the way you expect.

Both ways…

that you can comeback here with kids and she can live where she wants as well.

I never in a 100 years thought my marriage could end up like this, and I’m sure you guys don’t think so either.

But just have a back up plan.

[Sarah]

Labor delivery cost. With great insurance and a necessary last minute C-section with extended care that ran me 18k first go round, 14k second since I hit my deductible that year.

Childcare cost are high and kids get sick so better have a flexible job.

Berries I spend like 25-30 a week on organic berries with two toddlers. Seriously no one warns you how much fruit they consume.

[Amy]

Childcare might cost more than your mortgage. Lots of doctor visits. Formula and diapers are a major expense the first 1-2 years.

Lots of clothes – they grow fast! Car seats, crib, toddler bed, big kid bed, strollers, individually these thing may not be major expenses but you will be sizing up in everything as the child grows and it all adds up.

[David]

First of all, you never have enough money to have kids. Secondly. You can always figure it out as you go along.

I have 4 kids, retired at 55, never really had a super high paying job, but it was great.

BTW, have 3 or 4. It gets way easier the more you have.

Just talk to any parent who has 1 only, they are always stressed.

The key is at least three.

[Rene]

Childcare. And if you both work, don’t think childcare cost go away when they start school, because there will still be before and after care as well as summer camps.

[Caro]

Childcare. Here’s our rates. I am so glad I got established in my career and made enough to make it make sense to keep working.

Baby gadgets and clothes… you do NOT need new, you only need some of this stuff for a short period of time, second hand stuff in that category are always barely used.

Once upon a child for clothing, again small sizes are barely used.

Baby really only is wearing PJs first year honestly.

Barely actually “dressed them up.”

I did Utah 529 since my state has no credits.

[Mayya]

I agree with everyone about childcare. Also, if you plan on traveling and going to vacations, that’s one extra plane ticket per child plus hotels are much more expensive when you add kids versus booking for just two people for some reason.

[Aisha]

Childcare is $$$. Budget an easy $2k/mo (most places), and that doesn’t include food, necessities, vacations, bigger car, bigger housing needs etc etc.

I’m not saying they’re required, but they often do push people for different needs than without kids.

[Janice]

Other comments have covered a lot of the important points, but I’d also add- healthcare- if you’re very fortunate, your child will be healthy and you’ll rarely need to use those benefits, but a healthy child is not guaranteed.

[Jennifer]

Conception to age 5 is so freaking expensive and lonely. Just my experience.

Check into the cost and entrance requirements of the childcare you expect to need, so you’re aware.

Then after K (if utilizing public school), expenses shift to extracurriculars & summer camps.

Then there’s middle & high school & of course college!

My child is aged 7.5.

[Paige]

My dear friend Mary was born in 1910 and died in 2020 (yes, 110 years!).

She didn’t get married until she was 30. She had 6 children in 6 years during the Great Depression.

She used to say, “A third diaper was a luxury!

One on the baby, one drying on the clothesline.

If you could afford a third diaper, you were doing well!”

He babies slept in a dresser drawer on the floor beside her bed, lined with a folded towel.

All babies were breastfeed.

She had 2 or three baby gowns and bonnets. “Baby blankets” were old blankets cut into smaller pieces to fit that dresser drawer crib.

She was always, ALWAYS the most positive person I’ve ever known.

She found joy in every day.

She never worried about money – and she had very little since her husband died of cancer while all 6 kids were still at home.

Her wealth was her family.

A long way to say – you need very few things when you have a baby!

I have 3 adult children and had way, way too much stuff when they were babies.

The most useful thing was a really good stroller.

[Melissa]

Don’t buy every gadget and gizmo, or outfits. They grow so fast that clothes are almost a waste the 1st few months, basics are needed but not the closets full that some people do.

No shoes till months after they start walking. Personally, I’d wait to buy any “must have” items until the baby is home for a but and by must have I mean the fancy things everyone says you need but use once and never again.

Get the basics,.

I would however have killed for one of these new convertible wagons the wonderfolds, back when ours were smaller.

Best invention ever!

[Nickole]

Most expensive thing would be if you have a child with a disability. The labor and delivery can cost a lot.

You can try a home birth to save money.

Also childcare

[Author]

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